FROM HELL AND BACK AGAIN
by cortez30
Summary: Kyle has died but only for 10 seconds this story will focus on his recovery from death and his revelation on Kenny dark secret and Stan and Wendy are there to help and Bebe discovers something that will shock everyone this story will feature a new P.O.V which is Kenny because i have gotten the hang of this stuff so now we will focus on kenny and bebe a bit
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1** welcome to hell population everyone but Mormons

**Summery Kyle has died but only for 10 seconds this story will focus on his recovery from death and them revelation on Kenny dark secret and Stan and Wendy are there to help and Bebe discovers something that will shock everyone**

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

**Chapter 1** welcome to hell population everyone but Mormons

Kyles P.O.V

So yeah I'm dead but only temporary sense that this is a near death experience so yeah I'm here with a homosexual Satan and I find out my friend Kenny blew his brains out just to warn me about gay Satan I'm flattered but I got down and cried because I never guessed my death would be dramatic like that

Hey said Kenny

Sniff hey I went for a hug and held him tight

Uhhhh you know I'm not dead said Kenny

How what did you get hid by another bus and are handicapped like in middle school for 7 months I asked

Nope I shot my brains all over the floor I kind of wish Bebe didn't see that but she will get over it in another 18 hours when I repaired and she forgets me dying said kenny

Dude you committed suicide there ain't going back I said

Actually he has a special case so yeah he doesn't stay long I hate it when he comes to visit cause he complains about my life choices and it really hurts my feeling said Satan

Wow what you mean special….

That moment images and memories pilled in my head the constant Stan yelling you killed Kenny and I saying you basturd lasted a good 30 mins before I snapped out of it and looked up at Kenny

…I'm sorry Kenny I didn't know IM A HORRIBLE FRIEND WHO DID NOTHING WHILE YOU TOLD US YOU DIED OVER AND OVER AGAIN I yelled in tears holding Kenny

Its ok its ok I would love it if you not mention it to anyone till they die cause you will be thrown into an insane asylum said kenny

Ha how do you know I'm not dead I asked

The second your heart stopped I got here as soon as possible asked around and then found out your on visiting hours so I got an extra gold pass so we could hang till you revive yourself and come back to life and then hopefully forget I died said kenny

He will not forget said Satan he will now and forever remember your deaths and every time he says that words he will constant remember in his heart and will be tortured by it ha ha ha….im sorry Kyle its just who I am if you want I could get your something any women you want for the next 10 hours for free trust me half these women are skanks and good news all diseases go away

Ha well your barking up the wrong tree I said

Oh why that is asked Satan

KYLE DON'T yelled Kenny

I'm gay I said

Ah shit great Satan I will give you 100 credits not to subduce him ok said Kenny

Why the fuck would I sleep with him he's 15 I'm a grown ass man said Satan

Oh I thought sense your Satan tolerance doesn't exist

We all talked for a good hour till I finally asked kenny to show me around he agreed and we headed to a familiar face which I almost cried when I saw…..chefs food Stan

Hello children said chef

Hey chef I ran for a hug (I'm in a very huggy mood today who knew)

Oh Kyle not you how old did you die asked chef

No man I'm not dead just near death experience I said

Oh that good so how's the earth doing meet a nice girl asked chef

Nope I said

Oh that's too bad said chef

No I mean I didn't meet a girl I met a boy I said

Damn son you gay said chef

Your damn right I am I replied

Man I love you crackers I miss you guys its boring here in hell especially sense half the folks are raciest assholes who try and lynch me every second they get but forget my complaints how old are you guys now asked chief

I'm 16 Stans 16 Kenny…

I know Kenny said chief

Oh well Wendy's 15 and bebes 16 and my man tray is 17 I said

Who asked chief?

My boyfriend I said

Oh damn said chef

Wait he's 17 years old chef asked

Yeah he got expelled in 1st grade and had to repeat it he will graduate at 19 years old I said

Damn just damn so you 2 did you asked chef

Yes we had sex at least twice I said

I knew he was weirded out but he explained that he don't give 2 shits about same sex cause were all going to hell anyway except Mormons and I told him about tray and how amazing he is at being amazing and how I will always love him

Wow Kyle I'm happy for you so are Stan and Wendy still together asked chef

Engaged I said

Damn they move fast said chef

Yeah you're engaged to Kyle trays going to buy a ring soon said Kenny

I can't wait to come back now I said

We talked for a good 2 hours till we decided to walk around hell for a good hour so that's now 4 hours and 35 mins in hell and already its better then south park damn that's pretty bad we walked till my heart sank

Kenny run I said

Why asked Kenny

Hitler is right over there I said

Oh come on bro he could care less about you dude Hitler is a lot different down here said Kenny

Really did he reflect on his life and stop hating Jews I asked

No he still hates them but what is he going to do the Jews he killed are here as well and they out number him 10 to 1 even with his Nazi army said Kenny

Ow well that sucks I said

Yeah yeah all the fun guys are down here said Kenny

Ow so Stalin I asked

Yes said Kenny

Osama I asked

Yes said Kenny

Saddam Hussain I asked

Nope said Kenny

Huh I asked how he was good enough to go to haven

Oh Satan banished him to haven said Kenny

Huh why did he do that I asked

Because he kept killing his boyfriend so he sent him to haven to live with the Mormons said Kenny

Yeah I still don't get why the Mormons go to haven I said

Well they are always the nicest people right said Kenny

Yeah I said

Well there you go said Kenny

Oh so be nice and you will go to haven I asked

Nope being nice don't give you shit ok no matter what you will go to hell and I'm stuck here for every

Time I die said Kenny

261 I said

Huh asked Kenny

You died a total of 261 times I said

How do you know asked Kenny?

I counted every time I'm planning on making a journal so I will never forget your deaths so then we can talk about it more and I can maybe use you as a thesis I said

Kenny started to cry and he hugged me for a good 10 mins

Yeah sorry Kenny I said

Dude its cool you didn't mean to forget said Kenny

No I mint the boner I said

DUDE SICK said Kenny

Ha I'm gay bro you're holding me in your arms I said

Well whatever I can forgive my close friends for silly errors said Kenny

We talked for a good 7 hours till Satan showed up

Time's up said Satan

Oh really I have to leave already I said

You can stay but then you will die and never can go back to earth said Satan

Hmm hell or south park hell or South Park I said

Trust me south park is a little better option said Kenny

Why is that I asked

Stan said Kenny

Yeah well he will be fine I said

Bebe said Kenny

She has you plus I want to be here till you leave this god awful place I mean 10 hours equals 10 seconds you will be here for over a century I said

Nope and uhhhh tray said Kenny

…ok bye Satan I said

Kenny laughed trays a lucky guy

No I'm a lucky guy I said

Ha no you're the girl said Kenny

So what I don't want to be a girl because I like my dick I said

Yeah I like mine to said Kenny

So what do you mean you won't stay for century's I asked?

Cause I can manipulate time in hell for my own benefit said Kenny

Then why didn't you…

I can't effect your time only my time said Kenny

Oh I said

So yeah I'm going to make time in hell earth time so I can at least enjoy myself here said Kenny

…..make it into only seconds before you leave I said

Huh asked Kenny

I want to see you quick I said

No matter what we won't see each other the second I wake up said Kenny

I will I said I will remember this moment so yeah you're stuck us…

I then felt like my chest was exploding and then I heard a ringing noise

HES BREATHING yelled the doctor

KYLE! Screamed tray

Hess alive said Stan

Wendy and Bebe were in tears Bebe more in tears I guess she saw Kenny dead

I whispered to the doctor to see Bebe first when I wake up

**12 hours later**

I woke up and like I asked Bebe was right next to me

So what did you want asked Bebe

I saw Kenny I said

She cried

Why did he have to kill himself asked Bebe?

What time is it I asked?

Only 5 pm said Bebe

Don't worry Bebe just wait till tomorrow I'm sure sleeping it off will help I said

No it won't said Bebe

Why I asked

Don't tell Wendy said Bebe

Ok I said

I found out I might get pregnant said Bebe

HUH you haven't had sex in what 1 month I said

I forgot the pill said Bebe

Oh well the chances….

I missed my period and I never miss that said Bebe

Oh my god are you going to I asked

Abort it said Bebe

Keep it I asked

Yes said Bebe

WHAT I said

Yes its Kenny child so I will remember him through the baby said Bebe

Bebe left in tears out of the room

Kenny's going to be pissed I guess there's going to be another wedding I said to myself

Well let's hope you like the ring said tray

Tray entered with a little black box and got on 1 knee

My eyes went to tears

Kyle brofloski even before I met you I was in love with you because I watched you play basketball at least 5 times while you were in middle school said tray

Sniff stalk much I said with even more tears

I saw Stan outside with Wendy crying Bebe was there 2 but I think she was still upset about kenny mom and dad was there great now they are going to said gay marriage is immoral and we are going to hell has already been there it ain't better then here

And our relationship had a lot of tests and I believe we passed them and that the worst is over and if it gets worst then we will face it together so Kyle brofloski will you marry me said tray

Sniff sniff yes I will marry you I said

The ring was kind of cheap and it looked like it cost about 2 grand

You spent your car money I said

Yeah you are worth more than any car that I might want said tray

I lost it right there I cried so much that tray was in my arms as I cried in his shoulder

Tray left the room giving me Stan and Wendy

Ok now if I'm not the best man then we are going to have problems said Stan

I laughed yeah well you best get ready for court cause I'm not driving to California to get married we are going to legalize it here in Colorado I said

IM ON IT said Wendy running out of the room

Ha ha ha I said

Stan grabbed me and held me in his arms and cried harder than I thought he would

Ok dude it's getting kind of gay I said

I thought you had died I thought my best friend was dead but all you got was a busted lung and a broken arm Stan said in a sooty voice

Well I'm not dead I said

But Kenny is this is horrible he died because they thought you were dead its horrible said Stan

I know I know I herd the doctors say it a few hours ago plus I saw him and he wants us to live our lives normally and he's kicking himself for not waiting 10 seconds to see me wake up I said

So Kyle what's going to happen now said Stan

We are going to take life 1 day at a time till we all go to hell I said

Dude you don't know that said Stan

Where do you think I was the entire time I said?

**End of chapter **

**Cliff hanger I love them sometimes so this story is going to focus on Bebe and Kenny and the fact they are having a baby it will range a total of 7 months and this is going to be my longest story because I'm adding a new P.O.V and that's Kenny and this story will be called**

**FROM HELL AND BACK AGAIN**

**Yeah I know lord of the rings reference big deal want to fight about it **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Is there a heaven

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 2 Is there a heaven

**Stan P.O.V**

The conversation between me and Kyle lasted 5 mins because visiting hours were almost done and Kyle and his parents were talking to him

Kyle we are happy for your engagement but aren't you a little young asked Mrs. Brofloski

No mom I'm going to wait till we are out of school if we break up the I know it wasn't worth it but it is cause I love him and I will be with him forever said Kyle

Yeah but Kyle gay marriage is illegal said Mr. Brofloski

I was kind of confused cause Mr. slave and big gay al are married but then I remembered that the reception was just a cover cause they got married in Canada which is legal there for some damn reason

Yeah but Wendy is going to raise hell till they legalize it in Colorado said Kyle

I walked away before they started fighting and I ran to Wendy and a very upset Bebe

Sniff I can't believe he's dead yelled Bebe

I know I know said Wendy

He took Kyles attack worse then I though I mean killing yourself because he thought death was better than a life without one of his friends I think it's extreme as hell

Wendy got a phone call and yelled

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN A WEEK AND YOU FIRED WHO WELL FUCK YOU MR FUCK YOU OK SURE ADD 2 MORE DAYS GO AHEAD I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT

Wendy what's wrong I asked

We got suspended for not only defending Kyle but for rushing him to the hospital said Wendy

Wow what the hell I said

Also guess who's fired said Wendy

Who I asked

Mr. Mackey said Wendy

WHAT I yelled

Everyone stared

Yeah for leaving school grounds without letting the school know cause a student bleeding out is a wrong reason to leave school…and kenny he's dead and now bebes crying I have to help Kyle and tray and and

Wendy just lost it right there so I grabbed her and held her face to my shoulder and I felt my shoulder get wet from her tears and Bebe joined her in tears then I started to cry when I heard a voice

So I'm fired mmkay

Yes you are for helping us damn you deserve an award I said

Well I guess I got no job mmkay and my life is bad mmkay said Mr. Mackey

Wendy went over to Mr. Mackey and hugged him

Thank Wendy mmkay but hugs aren't going to get me my job back mmkay said Mr. Mackey

Well I can help said Mr. Brofloski

Well that's a relief said Wendy

Yeah you need a lawyer you have one how they dare fire my sons savior yelled Mr. Brofloski

So when is our case I asked?

This Saturday said Wendy

Uggh when is summer vacation going to end I said

Everyone chuckled even Bebe they needed that

We all decided to go to bebes house to stay the night I guess we wanted to screw the rules and already things were depressing till around 11:58 pm

I rose a glass of soda too Kenny he was our friend and his death was a noble 1 I said

It hit midnight

Yeah if it wasn't for him we never would of gotten Mr. Mackey to drive us to the hospital said Bebe

Deja vu I said

The phone rang

Hey said Kenny

Oh hey Kenny what happened to you I mean you kind of left the hospital when Kyle was admitted I said

Oh shit I had to head to the police station it appears my mom shoplifted a pair of socks said Kenny

Oh well good news Kyles alive I said

OH THANK GOD said Kenny

Yeah come over to bebes house were celebrating I said

Uhhhh what about school said Kenny

Were suspended for helping Kyle so Saturday we are SUING THE SCHOOL I said

Not again said Kenny

We hung up

Oh god remember the first time we sued everybody in town said Bebe

Yeah cause of the sexual harassment panda I said

Ha ha the most retarded mascot of all time said Wendy

We all laughed

Kenny showed up and we all got him a soda

Wow no beer are you ok Bebe asked Kenny

Bebe looked scared for some reason

Yeah uh I'm cutting off the alcohol for a while said Bebe

How long I asked

Forever said Bebe

Why asked Wendy

I JUST HATE ALCOHOL OK GOD DAMN screamed Bebe

Oh ok I said its fine I mean that's really mature of you I said

Oww said Wendy

You ok I asked

Yeah my shoulders are killing me said Wendy

I'm on it I said

I put my hands on Wendy's shoulders and rubbed them she liked it then I went down her back and tickled her

Hey Stan what's with the touchy touchy said Wendy?

Nothing I just find you very attractive right now I said

Oh really right now well maybe we should…

No Wendy I'm not in the mood and were at bebes house I said

I don't mind said Bebe

Yeah I neither said Kenny

See my point I'm not giving them a show I said

Ok I understand I'm not really in the mood anyway the fact that Kyle almost died today scared me said Wendy

He almost died asked Kenny

Yeah for 10 seconds he was pronounced dead but the doctors gave it 1 last shot and BAM his heart started beating so yeah he's good and hopefully no brain damage but he's going to be stuck at the hospital for at least 2 weeks I said

Well damn said Kenny

I know it sucks I said

Well the important thing is that he's alive said Kenny

Yeah but he said something weird I said

Oh what's that said Kenny

He said no matter what we we will go to hell I said

Yeah that makes sense said Kenny

Well that's impossible why would there be heaven and no one's allowed in it I asked

Well only Mormons can go to heaven said Kenny

Ha ha yeah right I said

Hey Shhh I'm kind of tired and if you don't mind Stan I like me teddy bears around my waist so get over here said Wendy

Yeah you too Kenny said Bebe

We agreed and hit the hay for the night

It was 5 am when I woke up from a crazy dream about Satan flicking me in the face saying ha ha ha ha you're going to live with me ha ha ha ha and I saw that Kenny was at the table crying

Hey buddy what's wrong I asked

It's just have you ever had a secret that no one believed you no matter how many times you had shown them asked Kenny

Well I can imagine but I've never had that I said

Yeah I know said Kenny

Why do you ask I said?

Well its hypothetical now let's say somehow that person believed you know but then they were caught in the secret and no one would ever believe them now how would you talk to them asked Kenny

Well Kenny I would make it into a small club that only you two could get into answer questions all that fun stuff I said

Oh yeah ha ha well do you have a secret asked Kenny

Yeah but I'm not telling you said Stan

Well I'm not telling you my super top secret said Kenny

Aww why not I asked

Ok fine only if you promise not to tell anyone said Kenny

Little did we know Bebe was listening to us?

I….i love Bebe and would take a bullet for her said Kenny

Wow I never would have guessed you of all people would fall in love I said

Yeah well the second cartmen….OH SHIT CARTMEN yelled Kenny

We called cartmen phone

YOU GUYS ARE DICKS I AINT TALKING TO YOU

Phone hung up

Well at least he's ok I said

Well anyway when cartmen called Bebe a whore I felt so angry not because he was mocking me but for insulting her and I wanted to kill him because I would do anything for her I would even consider…HOLDING HER HAND said kenny

I chuckled don't you always do that

Yeah I meant marry her one day said Kenny

Oh shit another wedding man graduation is going to be crazy this year I said

Ha well I could marry her earlier then graduation cause my parents don't give 2 shits and bebes step mom is super nice to me and I think she wouldn't mind me living here said kenny

Bebe then got up she took her shirt off last night and had a white bra on she didn't mind showing it off around me cause she trusted me

Hey what are you guys doing up asked Bebe

Kenny shook her head

Nothing were just worried about Kyle they say he could relapse and well we are nervous I said

Oh I thought I heard you boys talking about me walking around in my underwear said Bebe

Oh no trust me I'm used to Wendy doing that and I no longer get turned on by that…unless it was a sexy bra then yeah but a normal one ohh nothing down there I said

Oh well ok what about you Kenny asked Bebe

Girl you know I think your sexy no matter what you wear….or don't wear Kenny said

Stop silly I love you ok and if you have anything to tell me you can tell me when you're ready said Bebe

She went over to Wendy and woke her up

BITCH said Wendy

Sorry girl but its 5 am time to go jogging said Bebe

Ok ok I'm up I'm up said Wendy

You girls jog I asked

Yeah every morning at 5 am we job right before school it helps us focus on work later on in the day…you want to come asked Wendy

Na I'm going to go walk to the hospital and wait for visiting hours to open I like to at least visit Kyle early before his parents come or worse his boyfriend starts giving him CPR I said

Don't make fun of him and besides that's were were going too so get your lazy butt ready and were jogging said Wendy

I have to go honey I'm sorry I promise tomorrow you can wake me up and we will jog ok I said

Ok fine…..for a whole week said Wendy

Oh then you are paying for breakfast every morning I said

Deal I love you said Wendy

I love you too I said

Uggh can I go back to hell said Kenny

We all laughed

Hey come on Kenny Kyle will want to see you I said

Sure I have stuff to talk to him about anyway said Kenny

Ok well then let's go I said

Fine said Kenny

**END OF CHAPTER **

**Well that was fun will kenny find out bebes secret and will Stan find out Kenny's will Wendy buy McDonalds or burger king or maybe taco bell sense they serve breakfast now tune in soon to find out oh and this story will lack lemon but I might put in a Bebe kenny scene which will reveal bebes stomach is kind of swelling up have fun**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Hospital visit

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 3 Hospital visit

**Kenny's P.O.V**

Hello my name is kenny 5 years ago I used to be the poorest kid in my school and in fact I got mocked for it daily mostly by cartmen but that's beside the point I have a beautiful sexy girlfriend named Bebe Stevens and sometimes she makes my head spin and my home well its actually better off now that my dad works as a mechanic after spending 3 years in jail for meth and my mother finally got clean but for some reason still likes to steal socks I guess it makes her feel like she doing something important for us but that's beside the point right now I'm heading to the hospital to visit my friend Kyle which is the first kid to ever believe in my secret…I can't die

We got to Kyles room on the 4th floor and what luck we were the first I asked Stan if I could get 10 mins alone with him to make up for me missing him yesterday he was cool

Hey man I said

Hey Kenny said Kyle

I didn't know they rented rooms in the hospital I said

Ha I guess you're used to the morgue said Kyle

So he does remember I went silent

Oh shit I'm sorry that was a touchy subject said Kyle

Oh trust me dude I am cool I'm actually happy that you remember our trip to hell I said

Yeah and guess what Stan remembered it too I told him you died and he was upset said Kyle

Yeah well he forgot about my death already I said

Darn that was fast said Kyle

Yep the second it hits midnight everything resets every conversation that is about me dying is switched around to another form of speech and now Stan probably remembers me as the guy who saved your life instead of the man who shot himself in the head so he could talk to his friend who was sent to hell I said

Well how did you know I would go to hell asked Kyle?

Well let's just say when I was a vegetable that one day I went to heaven but was brought back to life I said

Well why you went to heaven you didn't become a Mormon said Kyle

They needed me to fight stans army and what do I get for helping OH you know a free pass to hell the next time I died I said

Oh man I'm sorry said Kyle

Sorry about what said Stan

Uh nothing I'm sorry that he felt bad for not showing up yesterday it wasn't his fault he uhhhh what did you do asked Kyle

Oh I didn't tell you I had to head to the county jail and bail mom out for stealing socks I said

Ironically she did steal socks I just got Keven to bail mom out for me and I would get the next time man has kind of a dick ever sense he got kicked out of college

So man how does it feel to eat through a tube asked Stan

Well it's cool when your fiancé shows up before visiting hours to buy you breakfast because I'm not brain dead said Kyle

Wait he was here asked Stan

Yeah the doctor let him in early because I guess being my fiancé has its perks by the way Stan I love having a fiancé don't you asked Kyle

Yeah it's different but I'm excited soon I and Wendy will have more time for ourselves then we could imagine said Stan

Yeah I sense a lot of sex in your future I said

Speaking of sex how is Bebe doing she was pretty down with your situation said Kyle

What situation asked Stan?

Me vanishing I told Kyle she was kind of steamed but she's over it and why did sex remind you of my girlfriend I asked

Because she's my bff and she tells me everything you 2 do and Kenny you are a dirty boy said Kyle

Yeah well I haven't heard her complain yet I said

I got a text from Wendy of all people

**Wendy hey Kenny**

**Kenny yeah **

**Wendy what's up with Kyle? **

**Kenny nothing why do you ask**

**Wendy No reason hey me and Bebe are jumping in the shower before we head there**

**Kenny cool send plenty of pic**

**Wendy per **

**Kenny yeah well **

**Ask Bebe her opinion **

**Wendy she giggled and said you have to earn them**

I walked out of the room and put the phone down my pants and sent it

**Wendy Ewww is that you're junk**

**Kenny well it was for Bebe**

**Wendy she is laughing so hard that she fell and her boobs hit my boobs it's annoying when you're naked **

**Kenny stop teasing **

**Wendy nope I will not Bebe says she loved you Oh and if you send me another pic I will kill you **

**Kenny yeah ok **

Hey who was that asked Stan

Wendy she and Bebe are taking a shower together and then heading up here

Make sure there bring food cause I'm starving said Stan

Oh ok I will text Bebe I said

**Kenny bring food honey and I will buy you dinner **

Ok we will wait for her response I said

Ok cool oh and why did she text you asked Stan

It was on bebes phone so I think wends phone is down stairs or in her purse…..

RING RING RING

Or in my pocket what the said Stan

It was from token I knew this was going to end bad tokens wends ex-boyfriend Stan put it on speaker phone

Hey Wendy I got the tickets for you and Stan has going to freak when he finds out you got front row seat to the Denver game vs. the chiefs dude this is going to be a huge game it was a bitch and a half to get these tickets you owe me that favor for me and Nicholes for reservation to that fancy French restraint ok sorry got to go see ya

Hmm that was a voice mail Stan looked happy

Holy shit BRONCO VRS CHIEF TICKETS Stan yelled

Hey Stan it looks like she didn't open the message let her surprise you dude I said

Hmm must be a glitch said Stan but ok

We waited for a good hour till the girls finally showed up…in really hot outfit's man

Hey boys said Wendy

Hey honey said Bebe got your pic it's kind of hot wait till you get mine later

I can only imagine the pic I'm going to get man I have goose bumps I said

We all sat down and talked to Kyle for a good 2 hours before tray showed up

Hey honey said Kyle

Hey cutie said tray

So how are you feeling asked tray

I'm good it still hurts when I'm horny but that should go away when you leave said Kyle

We laughed

Well will a kiss make it worse asked tray

Yes….and I like pain so come here said Kyle

They kissed for a good minute and a half

Stan gagged a little I chuckled Bebe and Wendy just stared yeah they were hot right now I can't say that or else I will get slapped…o wait yeah I can

Man that's hot huh Bebe Wendy I said

Shut up Kenny said Stan

Is that all you think about is sex asked Wendy

Ha you wish said Bebe

Oh Wendy I forgot you phone was in my pocket you got a phone call but I didn't answer it because it's your business said Stan

Oh cool let me check on it's from token said Wendy

Wendy heard the message

So what did he say asked Stan?

Oh nothing said Wendy with a smile on her face

He knows I whispered

DAMN IT STAN yelled Wendy

Look I'm sorry the message played automatically and I didn't know how to stop it because I needed your password said Stan

Man I wanted it to be a surprise for you and Kyle said Wendy

Wait what about I said Kyle

The…Stan pulled her aside

He doesn't know I didn't know it was for him whispered Stan

Well who did you think they were for me and you said Wendy?

Yes I did said Stan

No I wanted to get something nice for his birthday so that when he got out he would spend some bro time with you I felt like I distract you too much and tray distracts Kyle so we both got together and got you boys these tickets said Wendy

Oh uh how many did you get 2 asked Stan

No 3 Kenny is going too said Wendy

Sweet I said

Just keep it a surprise for him please said Wendy

Ok I will said Stan

I'm sorry for being a dick

No Kenny it wasn't your fault said Wendy

Uhhhh yeah it was

Huh said Wendy

It was my idea to tell ya I was being a douche but sense it's for Kyle too then yeah I'm sorry

Its ok Kenny and I better not see your dick again said Wendy

Stan got mad

There you got your punishment come on Bebe we have shopping to do Kyle needs a cute outfit said Wendy

Oh they are good

Stan it was sent to bebes phone I didn't think she would see it I calmly said

…..i know said Stan

Huh I said

I just acted mad so then she would feel like she got one over me said Stan

My phone vibrated

OH SHIT I said

Stans phone vibrated next

His mouth watered

DAMN said Stan

On our phones were both our girls posing in the shower for us and the text reads tonight you get these

We were happy and in love

Man I kind of wish Wendy wasn't in your phone said Stan

Yeah Bebe in yours kind of makes me mad I said

We deleted the picture and sent a text

**Kenny So time and place **

**Bebe Tonight my house with lit candles and whipped cream**

**Kenny what's with you girls and whipped cream **

**Bebe oh come on don't tell me you wouldn't like a whipped cream bikini on me**

**Kenny I see your point**

**Bebe especially if you like it off**

**Kyle hey Kenny I think Bebe is horny**

**Kenny why do you say that**

**Kyle cause her and Wendy sent me a naked pic**

**Kenny WTF **

**Kyle yeah don't worry tray didn't get it and I'm gay I already deleted it**

**Kenny good**

**Kyle yep**

…wait Kyle why are we texting I asked

I don't know ha ha said Kyle

**End of chapter**

**Well I hope you liked this chapter and remember your reviews help me know what to do an creative ideas help also if you want a character cameo then I can add one but only if you ask**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 The reveal

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 4 The reveal

**Kyles P.O.V**

People think me and Stan are stupid for getting engaged at the age of 16 but I don't think that's dumb I love having a fiancé and so does Stan and I'm not stupid kenny has been secretly doing some wedding planning so I guess not only is he proposing but he wants to get the wedding out of the way fast ha typical kenny it's been 1 month sense my trip to hell and kenny has not died once I'm guessing he's been training to avoid death we made it to the football game which to be honest I'm not a football fan I'm a basketball fan I wish Wendy knew that cause it ain't much of a surprise if I dislike the gift I kind of wish it was for tray and not me

We got to the game but something happened

PUT YOUR HANDS UP ALL OF YOU yelled the crazy terrorist

What the fuck guys terrorist attacking the football game said Stan

Fuck this guy's let's just go I said

HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING yelled the terrorist

We got back in the car and tray drove us home

Ha that was easy I'm shocked no one else just walks away I said

Ha well then there wouldn't be terrorism said Kenny

I got a text

Bebe I'm a fool

Kyle why is that

Bebe I just threw up

Kyle aww you sick

Bebe …I'm pregnant

Kyle WTF

Bebe yeah I need you right now moms in tears and dads at work

Kyle does Wendy know

Bebe yes she told me to tell Kenny now

Kyle well then there coming with me

Bebe what about the game

Kyle terrorists happened

Bebe what the hell is wrong with this country

Kyle economy now we are on our way

Bebe ok

I told tray to take us to bebes and he drove fast I swear he drives like a maniac ever sense he got his license he thinks it will impress me but it doesn't

Dude nice set of wheels said Stan

Yeah well it's my dad's car said tray

Really asked Stan

Yep said tray

So what kind of engine asked Stan?

Well

Uggh I moaned

What's wrong honey said tray

Do you have to car talk right now I asked?

Well no but Stan wants to know said tray

Stan got his phone out and then froze he looked at Kenny and whispered to me

I got a text from Wendy bebes pregnant

I know Bebe texted me that's why we're heading over there I whispered back

Poor Kenny he's going to be pissed said Stan

Huh what about I being pissed asked Kenny

We ignored him and reached bebes house in less than 20 mins we got out and bebes mom just left we were relieved cause then we would have extra drama we all walked up stairs and opened the door I was shocked to see Bebe in her underwear

Oh shit I'm sorry I didn't know you were getting dressed I said

I'm not getting dressed I'm showing the truth said Bebe

I looked at her stomach and saw how swollen it had gotten it didn't look much but it was swollen and if she had a shirt on she could probably hid it for a good 2 months

The guys walked in Stan covered his eyes and so did tray but Kenny well

Well hey sexy what's the occasion asked Kenny

I love you Kenny that's why Bebe said

Uhhhh guys I think Bebe wants private time with her man so Kenny said with a hint

Wait Kenny I want you to look at me really look at me said Bebe

Well ok said Kenny

He looked at every inch of her body and noticed her stomach he went from a smile to a serious look

Oh said Kenny

I'm so sorry don't hate me for this said Bebe

Bebe was on her knees crying calling herself a whore a stupid dirty whore Wendy was next to her but Kenny shoved her aside picked Bebe up and kissed her lips as hard as he could

I I thought you were made at me said Bebe

Why would I be mad at the girl that I love and bought this ring for said Kenny?

Huh said Bebe

4 months ago I planned a wedding but the couple bitched out a eloped so yeah no wedding for my cousins but the stuff is still there and about a month ago cartmen called you a whore so I kicked his ass from here to next week and I relied I was so in love that I didn't want to lose you most guys would wait a few years but as you can see around us we are not exactly the most patient group to wait for marriage but now I have an excuse to give you this ring and it's in that stomach my child so if you say yes I will be there for that kid if no I still with help that kid said kenny

Me Wendy and Bebe were in tears that was probably the most romantic speech I have ever heard

Damn it Kenny yes I will marry you said Bebe

He gave Bebe the ring got on his knees and kissed bebes stomach I guess expressing his love for the kid and then Wendy started uggh being a women

IM GONNA BE AN AUNTIE screamed Wendy

Ha ha said Bebe

Well then I'm the god father I said

Says who asked Bebe

Actually I told him said Kenny

….how long have you known asked Bebe

A good 2 weeks said Kenny

Huh said Bebe

Well I saw you throw up and you asked me to buy you tacos and for the last 5 years you hated tacos so I thought why the fuck would she want tacos while she is sick so I left out of town for a week to ask a guy and he said pregnancy was most likely the cause said kenny

Wow said Bebe why didn't you tell me Kyle Kenny knew asked Bebe

I wanted it to be a surprise kenny told me last week that he knew…I was lying he asked me in hell to be the godfather but I wouldn't ever tell Bebe that

Wow Kyle is tray ok with this asked Bebe

Ohh I'm about 50 50 the chances of u 2 dying are a million and 1 and that being extreme said tray

I giggled and Kenny looked at me

I think it's cute when you get all smart and statistic I said

I went over to tray and kissed him and Stan turned away

Aww what's wrong Stan you don't like me and tray kissing I said

It's not that it's just do you have to add tongue said Stan

Ha no but it's more hotter when I do I said

Yeah Stan when we make out if I don't add tongue you think of its just a 10 second kiss I can pull away said Wendy

Well I don't make out in front of guys….anymore said Stan

We all laughed

BEBE yelled Mr. Stevens

OH SHIT yelled Bebe KENNY RUN

No I'm not running I'm going to stay here with you got it said Kenny

Kenny whispered they might try and abort her I will stall them and try to postpone till tomorrow you try and shut down abortions in America

Ha yeah right like I could stop abortions in America I said

Hey you brought democracy to Cuba said Kenny

Wow I can't believe he remembered that

Yeah ok I said

Bebe opened up her window and we all escaped the house

I have no idea how to stop abortions I said

Well we just need to stop them in 1 state then we could cause a chain reaction said Wendy

We need an evil mind to help us said Stan

I knew just the guy but I really did not want his help but we had no choice

We went to Eric cartmen house knocked on the door and a lard of fat oozed out

What the fuck do you want asked cartmen

I want you to stop abortions in South Park I said

Well sorry I don't feel like helping unless you gave me something said cartmen

What you want me to suc ma baws I said in a stupid cartmen impression

No you would probably like that said cartmen

I hate to admit it but balls does sound good right now

No I want you to leave tray said cartmen

Then I saw something scary unfold

OK ASSWIPE YOU ARE GONNA STOP ABORTIONS IN SOUTH PARK TONIGHT GOT IT yelled Wendy

Cartmen laughed

Wendy then grabbed cartmen by the throat and punched him 4 times in the face till blood was out of his nose I went in to calm her down but tray stopped me

Let her do this whispered tray

But come on not even cartmen deserves this I said

Shhh said tray

I turned around to ask Stan but he looked kind of scared

NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO yelled Wendy

Stop abortions whispered cartmen

WHAT DID YOU SAY yelled Wendy?

STOP ABORTIONS cried cartmen

Now good was that so hard oh and if it is not stopped by 5 o'clock then we will return bye cartmen said Wendy blowing him a kiss

We all went back to bebes house and Stan slowly followed behind

Wow Wendy who unleashed the beast in you said tray

Oh please I was bluffing said Wendy

Yeah right I said

Eric knows I can kick his ass I just wanted him to get scared enough so that he would do what we asked him to do said Wendy

Wow you are awesome I said

Stan are you coming I yelled back

Stan ran up and grabbed Wendy

I iiiiiiii I'm sorry I need to borrow her for a second said Stan

Ok I said

Yeah do what you need to do bro said tray

So I wonder what that was about I said

Ha you think he was turned on by Wendy in beast mode asked tray

Ha no I think he was shiting himself I said

10 bucks said he was turned on said tray

Your own I will even throw in a free back rub I said

DEAL yelled tray

**End of chapter**

**PLACE YOUR BETS how is Eric cartmen going to stop abortions in south park and I wonder what Stan was so afraid of when he saw Wendy I hope it's not serious and also what is going to happen to THE BABY find out next time on dragon ball z uhhhh I mean my fanfic lol I forgot this was south park ha ha **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 what have I seen

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**WARNING LEMON READER ADVISED **

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 5 what have I seen

Stans P.O.V

I just saw my fiancé kick a fat man's ass and I am turned on by that what the fuck is wrong with me am I enjoying pain there is only 1 way to find out

I grabbed Wendy

Can I talk to you I said

Sure said Wendy

We walked behind the house and no one was around so I grabbed Wendy

Oww Stan stop you're hurting me yelled Wendy

I grabbed her face and locked her lips with mine at first she resisted but then she knew what was going on

Oh said Wendy

Uhhhh yeah I said

So when did you asked Wendy

Uhhhh sense you kicked cartmen ass I said

Ha ha she said

Then I heard a noise

Just go you too it looks like it's going to be a long conversation between Bebe and her parents just have fun yelled Kyle

I went red but then a sharp pain hit my face

How you did like that said Wendy

I loved it I said

Your house or mine said Wendy

Mine closer and my parents are out lets hurry I said

We ran and laughed and I swore I heard tray said pay up wonder what that was about we got to my bed and I threw Wendy on my bed and ripped her blouse and saw the cutest flower bra on her

OH yelled Wendy

Yeah you like that I took wends pants off next

Ha they match how cute I said

SHUT UP AND FUCK ME ALREADY said Wendy taking off her bra showing her big breasts I never get tired of them

I bit into the right one

STOP TEASING ME ASS HOLE said Wendy going in for a slap

I slapped her back and she loved it so then I bite the left one

I SAID STOP said Wendy slapping me again

OK BITCH YOU WANT IT DRY YOU WILL GET IT DRY I yelled

I bent her over and placed my dick in her ass

OW she yelled

I'm sorry I said

NO NO NO DON'T STOP yelled Wendy

I grabbed her and started entering and exiting her ass until….i heard a noise

STAN yelled dad

ARE YOU HOME yelled mom

We both looked at each other

FUCK we said

We grabbed our cloths and Wendy jumped out the window she forgot her pants so I threw them but I forgot to get out so I ran to the closet and hid till they left…then the unthinkable happened

I guess he's not home said mom

Well then were alone said dad

They were on my bed and they were making out then….my dad took my mom's pants off

No no I said softly

My parents were having sex and it was the creepiest thing I ever saw it lasted a good 5 mins 5 minutes of mom and dad going at it till the doorbell rang dad shot up and pulled his pants up and mom followed him

I will meet you in the bed room said mom

IM COMING yelled dad

I jumped out of my room and found Wendy then we ran as fast as we could back to bebes

Wow that was fast said tray

Ha did Stan come up short asked Kyle

Ha ha no his parents came home early we had to jump out the window said Wendy

They both laughed

Ha ha ha I know how that is said tray

I threw up all over the ground

Hey you ok asked Kyle look it was nothing tray was in my bed and my parents were out we were just cuddling when they came home and tray panicked it wasn't like we had sex said Kyle

….i saw them I said

Huh asked Kyle

I saw them I repeated

Saw who asked Wendy

I saw them I kept repeating

Saw your parents asked tray

…yes I said

So did they see you asked Wendy?

No I said

Oh well that's a relief said Kyle

I saw them I continued to repeat

Yes we know said Wendy

I saw them I continued to continue to….yeah this is getting repetitive why am constantly saying this

Ok what the fuck are you talking about said Wendy

I SAW MY PARENTS HAVE SEX I finally said

They all looked at me

Oh shit man said Kyle

Are you ok asked tray

Hey hey its ok said Wendy holding me

No it's not ok it was scary I never can unseen what I have saw I said

Yeah well I have seen my parents do it before said Wendy

When I asked

When I was 7 said Wendy

Oh shit said Kyle

Yeah and I thought my mom and dad were hurting each other so I cried

I held her now

But no daddy was putting his thingy in mommy she said joking

No one laughed…well maybe Kyle chuckled but not loud

Well that was the time I learned about sex said Wendy

I thought we learned that in 4th grade and we all went to war because you girls were afraid of pregnancy and STDs said Kyle

Ha ha and you made us were condoms I said

Oh my god that was funny said Wendy

Wait what said tray

Long story Hun I will tell you another day said Kyle

It wasn't fun for me I had to put a condom on Timmy I said

TIMMAY a voice said

We looked around that's impossible Timmy died 2 years ago I said to myself

Poor Timmy died from an aneurism in middle school we were all sad

We all talked till the doors opened and Bebe invited us in

Well good news said Bebe

What asked Wendy?

We're having a baby said Bebe

Wait…..WHAT you guys are allowed to keep the baby said Wendy

Yeah my parents promised to help but once I'm out of high school me and kenny are own our own with the kid which kenny already had a job plus we made a shit ton of money from the trial remember said Bebe

Yeah but we can't touch that money till we are 18 I said

Yeah duh 18 year old parents with half a million dollars each said Kenny

What I and Stan got 200 grand each said Wendy

I got 250 grand said tray

I got 2.5 million said Kyle

We stared but we knew he got the most cause he was the one suing we each drew a number and that's how much we got

Well anyway what about…..

KABOOM!

We all jumped

What the hell was that asked Bebe

We ran outside there was smoke in the distance

Wait what time is it I asked

…..5 pm said Wendy

We all stared

AHH SHIT yelled Kyle cartmen blew up the abortion clinic

We all laughed

Man he's a dumb ass I said

Well we asked to remove abortions and hopefully no one got hurt said Wendy

Well that's one way to stop abortions I said

We all laughed

We went back inside and I told Kenny the horrible experience that I saw and he laughed asshole

Well it could be worse said Kenny

What's that I said?

You they could find out you saw the things will get twice as awkward said Kenny

The phone rang

Hello I said

Hey Stans…uhhhh were you at home today mom asked

Well uhhhh I said

Oh god said mom I am so sorry where you were asked mom

Uhhhh in the closet I said

HA yelled Kyle I was in there once

Shut up I said

How did you know I asked?

Before I answer was Wendy with you asked mom

I breathed heavy

Yes she was why I asked

Because I don't remember buying flower underwear and my pink ones are missing I said

Oh I'm sorry were at bebes and I'm so so sorry I said

Its ok I know its going to happen he'll probably more sense you2 are engaged maybe we can talk about times when to and when not to in the house said mom

I hung up the phone

Uhhhh Wendy I asked

Yeah said Wendy

What underwear did you grab I asked

Wendy blushed Stans not here plus I'm still pissed that my blouse is ripped vie been covering my shirt for a good 5 mins

Yeah I noticed said Kenny

Its ok Wendy I have some cute shirts you can have oh thanks said Wendy

I heard a car horn

Wendy check I asked

Fine said Wendy

She turned around and checked and turned hot red

These ain't mine she said

Kyle rolled on the floor laughing then Wendy kicked him in the ribs

OWWWWWWW yelled Kyle

Hey hey said tray he's still recovering

Sorry I don't like being laughed at said Wendy

I then proceeded to laugh my ass off

Me and Wendy ran outside and Wendy talked to mom I heard them

I am so sorry mars marsh I didn't mean too said Wendy

Its ok Hun I have yours in this bag I also got you some snacks and if you could can Stans stay with you this weekend because I think Stans still uhhhh mom couldn't finish the sentence

Scared I said

Yeah that said mom

Look I'm ok I'm just a little sick I said

I and Wendy went inside and Wendy ran upstairs to change

Ha so what kind were they asked Kenny

Uhhhh I said

They were flowers yelled Wendy

Aww cute said Bebe you need help asked Bebe

No Bebe just relax yelled Wendy

I'm only 2 months pregnant I'm fine right now said Bebe

I know but you are nauseas and I don't want you to be uncomfortable yelled Wendy

We waited a good 10 mins before Wendy came down in a red shirt and pants she was good looking like holy shit good looking

Damn Wendy I said

Gurl I want one of them outfits said Kyle

Shut up guys I'm not that hot said Wendy

Dude you are said Kenny

Yeah said tray

Aww thank you guys you are the best said Wendy

We all talked for a good 2 hours before we finally left

So you ok asked Wendy

Yeah I'm just going to wait awhile for sex I said

Ok said Wendy but is cuddling ok asked Wendy

It depends I asked

Depends on what asked Wendy

Is flowers going to be involved I asked?

Aw yeah said Wendy

I'm going to light candles make it really romantic I said

You have been talking to Kyle a lot haven't you asked Wendy

Well he has some good advice on romance I said

We both laughed and headed back to wends house were we talked all night and slept

**END OF CHAPTER**

**Yeah sorry that ending was rushed but I had nothing else in my head and I'm getting writers block right now I don't know what to do with kenny chapter so bear with me while I get some advice…..FROM MY PEOPLE lol oh and if one of you guys sees this just remember I'm watching you and I know where you live ….MUHAHAHAAHAAHAHA**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 me a father

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Some romance here so yeah WARNING LEMON READER ADVISE but it's not hardcore like last chapter it is love in its finest**

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 6 Me a father

It's been 2 months Bebe is 5 months pregnant and the wedding is in a week so yeah I am both existed and worried me and Bebe are taking school 1 day at a time but some of the teachers are giving parenting advice and saying I'm too young to raise a kid but I raised my sister sense she was a baby and imp tired of people telling me I'm stupid the last guy who said it got his ribs broken and some girls were making fun of Bebe but Wendy told them off

I was alone with Bebe and pregnant her is extra horny but she wanted me to be gentle cause tomorrow we are seeing finally whether it's a boy or a girl I was scared but I knew this was going to be a romantic night so I lite some candles and roses on the bed…damn Kyle is good at romance shit Bebe was so excited she wore a night gown I guess cause she was nervous about me getting weirded out by the fact that her stomach is swollen but I think it's beautiful

I laid her down genially and squeezed her right boob while I kissed her neck and rubbed it sense she has had a lot of stress then I pulled her night gown off and her boobs were kind of smaller then they used to be but I didn't care before I put it in I rubbed her belly and spoke to my kid

Son or daughter in Bebe I love you and I understand you are scared

Bebe giggled

But I want you to know I will love you no matter what you are and…..

Bebe spoke the words and I got scared

Your afraid of your curse said Bebe

Oh what I asked

I know about it I guess your genes woke me up but don't stop please said Bebe

I cried but continued

Wither or not you will have daddy's curse I will love you and I will be there for you and no one will take you from me you will not live like I did i said to the baby

I kissed bebes belly and entered her pussy it was more open sense she was pregnant but she felt every bit of the pleasure

Oh slower Kenny ok said Bebe

Ok I'm sorry

I went in slower than before and rubbed her belly while we had sex after I unloaded I laid there with Bebe all night and held her and my child and cried because for the first time in years I was in love….and she loved me back

**The next day**

I woke up to bebes morning sickness poor girl throwing up for a good hours

Hey you need help I asked

No said Bebe throwing up I'm good

I rubbed her back then her mom walked in with some medicine

Thanks Mrs. Stevens I said

Your welcome said Mrs. Stevens

Bebe got better then Wendy came up stairs

Hey beautiful said Wendy

Uggh I'm hideous said Bebe

No you're not your glowing said Wendy

Yeah but the baby's being mean and causing me to puke said Bebe

Well its fine said Wendy

I had a head ache

Drink last night asked Wendy

No not much sleep I said

Ohh said Wendy nudging me

Yeah Kenny was so romantic he got rose pedals and lite candles he even rubbed my belly and talked to the baby said Bebe

Aww said Wendy so Kyle said Wendy

Yeah how did you know I asked?

Stan did that for me 2 weeks ago and it was the best slow sex we had ever had said Wendy

Wow Kyle should sell his advice I said

We got dressed and headed to the hospital were Stan and Kyle was waiting for us at the hospital they got the monitor and we found out that we were having…..

Oh it's a BOY I yelled

Bebe was excited

I'm having a son

Wow a nephew sounds cool said Wendy

You're not her sister said Stan

So we have no siblings so we are the closest thing to sister so Nahh said Wendy and Bebe sticking there tongues out

Ha ha said Kyle giving Bebe a hug

Hey easy Kyle imp very fragile said Bebe

Yeah Kyle that's my job I squeezed Bebe in my arms and whispered to her belly

Son I can't wait to meet you

Aww said Wendy

Dude are you going to keep talking to bebes stomach asked Stan

Yes he is said Bebe

I walked out of the room and Kyle followed me out of the hospital

I took a ciggs out of my pocket and lighted one up when Kyle walked in

You ok asked Kyle

Yeah cough I'm fine I just can't believe imp having a son I said

Have an extra asked Kyle

Uh you don't smoke I said

Not around tray but sometimes I do when I'm stressed at night said Kyle

Can't sleep huh I said handing him a ciggerete

Yeah I still have nightmares about hell and I can't talk to anyone about it said Kyle

You can talk to Bebe somehow she knows now I said

SHE DOES yelled Kyle

Shhh yes she found out when she got pregnant and the baby developed thoughts and now she remembers my deaths I said

Wow that's great said Kyle

I guess but will my son have the same curse as me and will my wife eventually be endanger when the fetus is old enough I said

First calm down and give me a beer cause I know you have one 2nd she's not your wife yet the wedding next week 3rd your worrying too much everything's going to be fine said Kyle

I felt like my body got crushed by the H in hospital

KENNY yelled Kyle 262 he said

Ass I said before I blacked out

…and I was in heaven

Oh great morman's everywhere all trying to ask if I was ok and to not be alarmed then Gabriel came to me

Greeting Kenny said Gabriel

Hi Gabe why am I hear

You are here because god wants to speak to you said Gabe

Excuse me creator of this story my name is not Gabe its Gabriel…..said Gabriel

Thank you said Gabriel

Who the fuck are you talking to asked Kenny

Uhhhh no one lets go said Gabriel

We flew all the way to god just so we could talk to him about why I am here

Hello my child I am god

Yeah hi god I said

I've noticed you are worried said god

Of course I'm worried I'm having a son and he might have my curse I said

I shall give you a gift Kenny close your eyes and tell me what you want said god

I want my son to not be cursed like me have him be normal I said

Ok I shall but the next child will be cursed deal said god

I had no choice but I didn't want my little girl cursed

Yeah I want a girl

Wait god I said

Yes how about just if I have another let them be free and just protect Bebe from death I asked

She would never die I can assure you that you are the cursed one not her but your daughter will be spared so in 5 years when your 2nd born comes she will not die until her time has come said god

Thank you….wait 5 years I said

Yes but you will not remember this conversation…..

I woke up and I was in the hospital

…..I'm alive I said

Yes Kenny it's a miracle said Kyle

Yeah said Wendy sniff but the doctor says you won't make it through the night cried Wendy

Hey I said I will be fine I winked at Kyle

Bebe ran in the room

The doctor was wrong he will not die ok he's going to be ok

Oh thank god said Stan

Bebe whispered

If you die at 11:58 then will you be fully healed asked Bebe

Yes no one will remember me here except you and Kyle I said

Huh Kyle he knows sense when asked Bebe

Sense he died I said

The rest of the night was painful and I just wanted to hurry and die so then I can be reborn but then I thought to myself will my son forget me then I died and I was in hell hurray

I walked around and talked to chef

Hello children

Hey chief I said

What's wrong asked chef

I'm a father to be I said

Damn you too young to be a father or are you I mean I don't know how long it takes you in between deaths said chief

Yeah I know but I'm nervous am I going to be a good father or not I said

I don't know if it was me I would ABORT ABORT said chief

Well I can't cause A she is 5 months and B the clinic got blown up by cartmen I said

Ha ha ha wow Eric is 1 messed up kid tell him I said hi said chief

We talked for a good hour then I woke up but this time I was in bebes bed holding her then I heard a whisper

Welcome home Kenny said Bebe

How did it get here I asked

I guess sense I'm your wife then you spawn here said Bebe

Ha 1st were not married yet and 2nd spawn really it's not a videogame I said

Yeah that's kind of funny a video game revolving the town of South Park said Bebe

We chuckled a bit

I'm scared I admitted

You're going to be a great father and if our baby is cursed then we will love him extra harder than everyone else said Bebe

Yeah I'm not afraid of the curse I'm afraid of you having to see your baby die over and over again and having to fake reacting every time what if one day you don't react and our other child gets taken then when everyone forgets a new reason why the child was taken appears in their heads then we can never see her again I said

Her said Bebe

I WANT A GIRL OK I yelled

Easy Kenny easy I know said Bebe

I apologized and went down stares damn cravings she want pickles and ice-cream

I thought the rest of the night and I came to agree….this child is mine and I will teach him how to cope with his curse and then….I WILL EAT THESE PICKLES huh why I said that oh well

**END OF CHAPTER**

**Anyone got cement I think I messed up the 4****th**** wall a bit too much lol anyway what will happen to kenny son and Bebe and WHOS THE BEST MAN next chapter is the wedding and you all are invited also is cartmen great oh well it will be posted up later tonight enjoy**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 the wedding

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 7 the wedding

**Kyles P.O.V**

Well I'm back in hell and everyone I know is burning and I'm scared cause tray is burning Stan is burning my parents are burning and and I AM BURNING

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I yelled

Kyle yelled tray

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah I continued to yell

KYLE CALM DOWN yelled tray

My parents came in the room

KYLE WHATS WRONG my mom yelled

I continued to panic until finally I just ran out of the house

I snuck out a pack of ciggs when I was interrupted

You ok asked tray

Uhhhh yeah I said

Look I'm not judging because I love you but if you don't at least share 1 I will get pissed said tray

You smoke I asked

Not really but I'm developing a habit ever sense you died for a few seconds said tray

Yeah me 2 hell is not a place I recommend I said

Ha well were not going there for a long time said tray

Yeah were saying that….while smoking I said

We both laughed

Tray these nightmares are getting worse I said

Yeah I've noticed your parents are worried and I am worried 2 said tray

Well I'm fine I'm sure it will go away I said

Well in 2 weeks you're getting therapy said tray

Oh ok I said

We talked for a good half an hour and I started to cry and tray had me in his arms I never shook this much in my life it was scary

The next day

I got better sleep knowing tray was with me again

Me and tray got our suits on and met Kenny at his house and we talked a good bit

Well boys I'm off I said

Oh yeah you are technically a brides maid why did Bebe ask you I'm confused asked Craig

Its caused we were short on women so tweak and butters and I are now bride's maids I said

Ha that's kind of funny said Clyde

Hey shut up said token

No no its funny said Stan

It kind of is said Kenny will you guys be in dresses

No we won't be and I still don't know why cartmen is your best man I said

He wouldn't shut the fuck about it said Kenny

Yeah so shut up and put your damn dress on Jew said cartmen

Well shut up I said leaving out the door but I saw right before we left (me butters and tweak) I saw tray smacking cartmen in the head

Thanks honey I yelled

We got in the limo and ended up at bebes house

Hey girls I said

Hey gays said Wendy

Bebe came down stairs kind of fat but in a beautiful dress

Oh my I said your beautiful Kenny a lucky guy

Bebe started to cry

Thanks you are the best friend a girl could have said Bebe

Hey what about me said Wendy

Yeah I guess you were there first said Bebe

Well girls I guess we are off let's get Bebe married I said

We all got in the limo and sense butters and tweak are dating….ugh they made out the whole way there

Really guys I said

Shhh this is awesome said Bebe

Man were they like this at the bridal party I asked

Nahh they were distracted by the male stripper we hired said Wendy

Ha ha you got a stripper…too I said

What we have one last day of fun before Bebe is taken forever said Wendy

We got to the chapel and let the bride out of the limo well helped her out she is pregnant after all her dad walked her down the aisle and the preacher read their vows and now finally the ending

Do you take Kenny as your lovely husband?

Yes said Bebe

And do you Kenny take Bebe to be you wife said the preacher

I do said Kenny

I cried like a pussy

I know pronounce you man and wife you may now kiss the bide said the preacher

Ok said Kenny locking lips but then kissing her stomach

Stop Kenny saying Bebe laughing

They ran back down the sale and the party began

Ha no alcohol interesting wedding I said

Well duh we are only 16 and bebes pregnant said Wendy

Ha but we are in a small redneck town said Stan

We all laughed

We raised are glasses of cider and cheered

To Kenny the first of us to get hitched

CHEERS we all said

We all then hit the dance floor I danced with tray Wendy with Stan and Bebe with Kenny

Hey said Bebe

Yeah I replied

Want to dance she asked

Sure I said

I and Bebe danced while Kenny danced with tray and it was funny but then a slow dance hit and tray wanted me back so I went

I was in his arms and the happiest man alive knowing that one day we would have a wedding like this maybe even better

The rest of the party was fun kenny shoving cake in bebes face and she shoving some in his face and cartmen eating so much that he threw up all over the floor and Wendy and Stan dancing so much that he almost passed out then the bouquet was throw and I caught it yay I kissed tray right then and there and my mom looked like she was happy for me

Finally Kenny and Bebe ran to their limo to the airport where they will enjoy Hawaii in peace for the whole week of spring break

I went home with tray tonight and this time I got better sleep last night and when I woke up it was spring break and I was horny so I begged with tray for a night of passion he promised if I hung out with Stan today so I texted him

**Kyle hey you got plans today**

**Stan nope why**

**Kyle good we are seeing the new action film and then playing basketball at the school**

**Stan oh am I why would I do that**

**Kyle cause if i hang with you I get laid and I've helped you out with Wendy**

**Stan hmm ignore you and be bored or hang out have fun and you get laid hmm **

**Kyle lol it should be a no brainer **

**Stan yeah ignoring you sounds fun**

**Kyle come on man when's the last time it was just us **

**Stan yeah it has been awhile ok sure I will take your offer and we shall have fun**

**Kyle WOO I can't wait**

**Stan to hang or have a sore ass**

**Kyle uh the sore ass duh lol jk**

I got dressed I felt nostalgic so I grabbed my old hat and wore an yellow jacket and headed out

Hey man I said

Hey ready said Stan

Yep let's go crazy I said

We first went to go see a film about a guy who had to stop a terrorist act and it sucked so bad that we just laughed our asses off to the point of people walking out and we played a good 1v1 I won by 10 points

Man that was an awesome day said Stan

Yeah…why don't we ever hang like we used to I asked

Because we are busy all the damn time with our spouses said Stan

Yeah maybe we should just go somewhere alone to hang just the two of us I said

Uhhhh I don't know said Stan

Don't worry I will not touch you and if we sleep in the same room I will be on the floor ok because I don't want to creep you out ok so yeah if we do this i want to you know I will not do anything sexual ok just saying I said

….how about tomorrow we spend the entire day and night together as best friends said Stan

We talked a good hour then Stan came over and we went to my room…and there were candles and rose pedals

Uh Kyle are you trying to subduce me asked Stan

No I think…..

Tray then walked in the room with a speedo on

Oh hello sexy I said

Stan ran out of the room

Sorry said tray

Its ok I will apologize later but let's have fun

We had a long night of passion and it was the greatest night I ever had tray was kind of gentle but we didn't have a crazy night of sex or love making in fact he only entered me once and that was all I wanted was to know he still found me attractive and sense he did I could sleep in his arms

But that night I had another nightmare…and this time it was an actual conversation with Satan

Hello Kyle said Satan

What do you want I asked?

I hope you enjoyed your night because I have a deal for you said Satan

What is it I asked?

If you agree to kill yourself I will give tray a happy life I will end Kenny curse and I will bless Stan and Wendy's wedding but if you do not one of your friends will die and you will have to pick one said Satan

If I refuse either I asked

You cannot said Satan

Kyle don't listen to him said Jesus

Dang it Jesus stop asking the prisoners to ignore me said Satan

Why are you torturing Kyle asked Jesus?

Because I'm Satan it's my job said Satan

Well if it's your job leave Kyle alone Kenny swore that I would protect his friends from you said Jesus

That's not fair man screw you Jesus said Satan

ENOUGH I yelled why you guys don't leave me alone please please I just want to

WAKE UP I yelled myself awake

I was shaking till I turned to my right and tray…..was hanging from the ceiling I cried my lover my everything my future husband was dead I was ready to kill myself but then he looked at me and screamed….WAKE UP

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I yelled

Kyle Kyle SHIT NOT AGAIN NOT NOW yelled tray

I was in a trance this time I couldn't move I could barely breath my parents busted in man how embarrassing that was me naked with my boyfriend in my bed what would they say would they kick tray out…I felt like I was in the air my fiancé put dressed me and ran out the door with me in his arms in tears yelling

DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON MY DAMNIT NOT AGAIN

My parents are behind screaming

TRAY WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH BY BABY yelled mom

TO THE HOSPITAL I HAVE A FASTER CAR yelled tray

He threw me in the car and went 20 miles over the speed limit a cop pulled us over tray told the cop the situation and he gave us an escort we finally got to the hospital I started to have a seizure finally the doctor helped me out by giving me a small sedative and I passed out which got bad cause well I dreamed of Satan again

Ha ha ha said Satan I'm better then you

Shut up I said am I dead I asked

No but you will die hopefully cause I want a friend said Satan

STOP I heard a voice it wasn't Jesus this time it it was

LEAVE HIM ALONE SATAN said Kenny

Aww man why asked Satan

Because I won the bet 4 years ago remember said Kenny

Dude did you die again I asked

Yeah Jesus called and Bebe decided to help this time but I have to hurry it's exactly 11:55 pm and I risk waking up so get out now said Kenny

Ok how I asked

The door is right behind you dude said Kenny

I face palmed ha ha I'm such an idiot tell Bebe I said hey

Will do now Satan we had a contract remember said Kenny

I know I just like Kyle he is a cool guy I wanted to hang out with him said Satan

Well you can't not in his dreams ok leaving him alone equals everyone I know and love….except Eric cartmen you can hang with him ok said kenny

I laughed and opened the door and woke up with another scream

AHHHHHHHHHHHH I yelled

I looked around and saw tray in tears

Sniff I thought I lost you again said tray

I started to cry

Tray I'm scared

I held him and cried till I couldn't anymore

Then Stan showed up and we talked

Oh my god Kyle if this is an excuse not to sleepover tomorrow then that's a horrible one I got so scared I actually drove here I am 1 day from getting my license I could get in trouble for this said Stan

He grabbed me and held me tight for some reason stans hugs are different then trays while trays hugs are gentle and happy stans are hard and tough like I have you but I'm not gay and if you think I am I will break you in half so I spoke

Dude you don't have to be cautious I know you're not gay bro I said

Stan looked at me

I know I guess I'm afraid to show sensitivity towards you said Stan

What time is it I asked?

Uhhhh 12:02 why asked tray

Suddenly the phone rang

Kenny why are you calling me at midnight asked Stan

Cause Jesus called me and told me to said Kenny

You have Jesus on your phone said Stan

Yeah we have coffee every Sunday after church has one of the few people I can talk to about my problems said Kenny

Cool anyway Kyles in the hospital again has fine but the nightmares are getting worse said Stan

Yeah I heard said Kenny

HEY KENNY I yelled

Hey sleeping beauty how are you asked Kenny

Fine did Bebe get the message I asked

Hi Kyle yeah I got it wow you were right Kenny he did go to hell said Bebe

What said Stan?

Yeah huh said tray

Well you ain't going to believe me so I'm not even going to bother trying to explain I said

What that Kenny can't die said tray

Stan looked at him like he was nuts

No I said blinking to tray

Oh sorry I was kidding you know how many times Kenny has said that we all know it's impossible to not die and comeback to life said tray

Yeah said Stan

Well I need sleep I said

Oh no said tray if you're sleeping I'm not leaving this hospital they will have to drag me out of here said tray

Ha yeah well when are you leaving said Stan

Tomorrow morning I'm going to be checked out and I think I'm going to have a machine to monitor my dreams but I can still hang tomorrow….oh sorry about tray I said

Ha its cool he did look pretty hot with that speedo on said Stan

Tray blushed when he saw my mom walked in on our conversation

She ran up to tray

Thank you thank you said mom

Hugging him almost breaking him in half

Your welcome said tray

You saved my babies life you will be a great son in law said mom

Thanks said tray

Mom I'm fine I said

I hope so you scared me half to death the doctor said what you had was a type of panic attack said mom

What I never get panic attack I said

I know but they say people develop them at certain ages and I guess your body decided to have one now said mom

Well that sucks I said

We talked for a good hours till Stan left mom left next but tray fell asleep by my side and the doctor monitored my dreams and didn't see anything wrong so they let me go the next day

And then my full day with Stan begun and it was a fun day not spouses or anything but we agreed on 1 thing 3 times during that day could we call our other half and 1 group date but then we go home together and sleep together but not in the same bed cause that would be gay and it starts…NOW

End of chapter

**CONTEST TIME ok folks time for the fans to give there idea to my fiction in any chapter or even a future story I will put your idea and I will throw a free shout out but there is 1 rule no killing off any of the man 6 well except kenny cause he come back lol and no break ups ok but any funny plot or chapter if you want it in my story I will put it in only the best can win and if you win you get a shout out have fun an may the best man win**

**End summery (yeah I'm labeling these now so shut up: P) ok wow Satan Jesus and kenny some battle and where can I get Jesus on speed dial anyway sounds like the next chapter will be a super best friend day I can't wait but I shall type it tomorrow cause well this took so damn long cause of writers block it sucked oh well good night Oh and tray knowing about kenny I will explain during Kenny's next P.O.V**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Super best day

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 8 Super Best day

Stans P.O.V

Is it possible to have a straight and gay sleep in the same room alone without some feelings not happen I mean I can but am afraid of what Kyle might do cause we have had sex before drugged out to the point of not remembering it but we have had sex and I might have forgiven him for it but I still get a little nervous around him and I think he knows that but we have decided on a few ground rules 1. No gay jokes I mean if one slips out its fine but we will try and not throw them at each other 2. Only 3 calls or texts from our spouse cause they will distract us from bro time and 3 we sleep in separate beds well that's a given we never slept in the same bed even when we were little

Kyle knocked on the door

Hey Stan said Kyle

Hey man how are you doing I asked

I'm doing well my butt hurts a bit but I'm good said Kyle

Uhhhh does that count as a gay joke Kyle I asked

Nah its just fact said Kyle

Oh ok well come in and I have a movie we should check out I said

Sweet then games right said Kyle

Actually the Xbox one is configuring for some reason so I have no idea how long it will take I said

Ah shit said Kyle

We spent a good 2 hours watching probably the worst film ever I thought it was all action but it had a plot that had too much romance it looked like a film me and Wendy would watch and I guess Kyle thought that too cause he was crying by the end of the film

Sniff I can't believe he died in her arms said Kyle

Uggh I said

Oh "sniff" I'm sorry is this to gay for you said Kyle

No just I guess this is a chick flick I said

Yeah I could have told you that dude yeah there were action but it's a romance film said Kyle

I am so sorry Kyle I didn't know that when I bought it I said

Ring ring my phone went off

"Sniff" HA 1 to 0 said Kyle

We placed a bet by dinner time who would talk to their fiancé the most loser orders and pays for the pizza

Hey Wendy I said

Oh said Kyle put it on speaker that's a new rule said Kyle

Damn it I said putting it on speaker

Hey honey just checking up on you so how are you boys doing said Wendy

Oh were good just watched the most romantic film ever said Kyle

I was red damn you Kyle I whispered

Aw you mean that new one that just came out asked Wendy

YES yelled Kyle

Aw I and Bebe saw that in theaters I've never cried so hard in a movie before said Wendy

Uggh I moaned

Sorry Stan did you like it asked Wendy

No I did not I thought it was the worst film ever I said

Well that sucks well later today the guy with the plates is coming by so you might hear me call again said Wendy

Ha hurry up I have a bet riding on this said Kyle

Huh WHAT BET asked Wendy

Honey am only allowed to answer 2 more calls because it's a bro day not an uhhhh I couldn't even finish the sentence

What a hoe day what bros before hoes I see ok fine I won't call yet but I will call you BOTH TIMES OK SO GET READY DAMN IT yelled Wendy

She hung up

HA HA HA HA Kyle said laughing on the floor

Dude I tried to warn you she is on her period bro thanks now am going to get it now I said

Ha ha that's 1 perk of being gay we don't have them problems said Kyle

Yeah but being straight has its advantages I said

Oh yeah what asked Kyle

3 holes not just 2 I said

Ewww I still don't know why guys would put there dicks in there said Kyle

You don't know what they really look or feel like in there I said

Well vie seen them up close while hanging with Bebe she fucking describes what kenny does to her said Kyle

Dude that's fucked up I said

Yeah I know….HOLD ME yelled Kyle

Hey rule 1 rule 1 I said

Dude why are you so scared ok now it's my turn YOU LAY OUT YOUR FEELINGS NOW said Kyle

Uh dude guys don't talk about their feeling I said

Well you are ok I want to know why you are so icky around me said Kyle

Uggh its cause we had sex ok i spilt

Oh I know that but I don't remember that so am shocked you did said Kyle

My ass hurt for over a week every day I was scared wondering what you did to me and when I found out then I was ok but then I willingly let you do that so now am afraid that I might be gay I said

Ok look I shall give you the…

RING RING Kyles phone rang

HA HA 1 1 baby

Huh said tray

It's a bet honey what's up said Kyle

What bet asked tray

A bet I'm going to win I said

No cause Wendy is already going to call you again today said Kyle

WHAT BET yelled tray

Uggh me and Stan can only answer the phone for you or Wendy 3 times today and we thought hey let's have a bet the one who gets the most calls pays for the pizza tonight said Kyle

Ha sounds fun unfortunately I have to call later cause your therapist called and I need to answer some questions for him so yeah have fun said tray

Kyle hung up

Ok what gay test I asked

Ok look at me said Kyle

Ok I said

I stared in his eyes for a good long minute and answered every question truthfully

Ok picture me kissing you how was it asked Kyle

Creepy and weird but I kind of liked it said Stan

Oh shit said Kyle

Ok next I said

Ok I hug you do you get a boner asked Kyle

No I said

Hmm ok that's good said Kyle

Ok now when you kiss Wendy how do you feel asked Kyle

Like the world stops and I am in peace I said

Aww how cute said Kyle

Ass I said

Ok ok last question said Kyle

Ok I said

Ok close your eyes and you see Wendy said Kyle

I pictured Wendy in her purple coat and jeans

Ok now she's in that flower underwear you like so much said Kyle

I pictured her in her bra and panties red flowers on then and….i got turned on

Shhh dude you got turned on by me voice yelled Kyle

I shot out off the couch and fell on my back and my dad was right there

Uhhhh Stan are you ok asked dad

Yeah dad just talking I said

Ok son oh you might want to run outside said dad walking up stairs

Kyles was laughing

GREAT I MUST BE GAY I said

Nahh bro you are as straight as a 180 degree line said Kyle

Huh am confused I like kissing you and your voice gave me a boner what gives I asked

Just because you liked our kiss don't mean your gay cause you didn't get turned on my it and the boner well you pictured Wendy half naked damn any straight guy would get a rejection from that said Kyle

Garr I said

Hey she is a beautiful girl with a big brain am jealous of your luck bro said Kyle

….really I asked

Yeah dude it's awesome that you are happy and I hope you enjoyed my gift to you said Kyle

Huh I asked

Who do you think convinced Wendy to buy them underwear said Kyle?

You but when and how I asked

I'm gay it has its perks and I thought they were both cute and sexy and I knew how much you like flowers and nature I mean it's not gay to sniff flowers said Kyle

True true am a vegetarian for Christ sakes I said

Ring ring

OHHHHHHHHHH 2 to 1 baby said Kyle

Ohh wrong it's not Wendy I said

Damn it said Kyle

I answered the phone

Hello my son said Jesus

Uh hi what's up I asked?

Don't use my name in vain Stan you promised you would work on that said Jesus

Oh ok I said

I hung up

That was weird I said

Yeah it was funny though said Kyle

Oh and Kyle I said

Yeah said Kyle

…..tray in a speedo I said

Oh shit that's hot said Kyle

…..Ewww I said dude I thought you would freak out more I said

I'm gay I could care 2 shit wither you see that am turned on or not said Kyle

Fin…..

RING RING

Shit I said

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH now it's 2 to 1

Hey Wendy am sorry for earlier I said

I am to that's why I called it's just been a shitty morning for me said Wendy

Yeah I know you gave me a heads up and I love you for that I said

Hey Wendy am sorry too for provoking you said Kyle

Its ok Kyle I can't stay mad at you your like one of the girls said Wendy

HA I said

Gee thanks Wendy said Kyle

I heard the sound of puking

WENDY ARE YOU OK I yelled

Oww said Wendy

I'm sorry I said

Yeah am fine just sick and don't worry it's a bug not a baby I'm having my period plus am sick which is a shitty combo said Wendy

Tomorrow am going to make you some noddle soup I said

Aw thanks honey said Wendy

We hung up

AWWW Stanley is such a great boyfriend said Kyle

Jealous I said

Definitely said Kyle

So how are you and tray doing I asked

Ha what kind of bro day is this if we talk about our other half all the time asked Kyle?

Because guys like to gossip 2 duh I said

Well he's doing great he got a job as a grease monkey and his new car is more shiny then ever also he treats me like am his only one said Kyle

Cute I said

You know you too would get along so well if you give him a try said Kyle

I bet we would I said

How about the next football game he goes with you guys instead said Kyle

You know football seasons over right I said

I know said Kyle

Yeah basketball is on right now I said

….PUT IT ON said Kyle

….RING RING

Kyle's phone went up

Hamm I'm guessing 2 to 2 now

Shut up Wendy is still going to call about the plate's bro said Kyle

Hey Kyle do you know where my wrench is asked tray

Oh I think my dad used it last…..

Ring ring

My phone went off

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WIN yelled Kyle

Damn it I said

Hey Wendy I said

Sorry about you bet but the guy for the plates FUCKING CANCELED I don't know what you like because you don't open up to me said Wendy

I guess am afraid to be sensitive I said

Well I know said Wendy

Kyle do you know how to screw an engine off asked tray

No said Kyle

Oh I do I said

I explained to tray what he needed to know

Hey thanks Stan bye Kyle said tray love you

Love you too said Kyle

STAN WHAT KIND…..

He likes flower Wendy roses the color red because he loves nature and stuff also he like tulips because they remind him of his grandmother's funeral said Kyle

I froze

I heard Wendy crying in the phone

That is so sweet I never knew that about you am sorry for snapping at you I guess I was out of line said Wendy

Hey a girl goes through a lot of pain and emotion during their cycle I should have been more understanding of your emotions I said

Wow who are you and what have you don't to Stan said Wendy

HE MURDERED HIM said Kyle

Ha I approve said Wendy

Harsh I said

Hey don't be mean am in a bitchy mood said Wendy

Ha like our old bus driver I said

SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN yelled Wendy

Huh I said

….beep

The phone hung up

Thank god I won't here from her today I said

Ha yeah she scares me said Kyle

Ok so what kind of pizza you want I asked

Meat lovers said Kyle

Ok then a veggie lover for me I said

Ha pussy said Kyle

Ha gay I said

Hey that's a joke said Kyle

Nope am not putting my body on your body plus come on meat lovers that sounds gay I said

Yeah but who likes veggies said Kyle me ok I said

We argued a bit then laughed after imagining a meaty veggie pizza combo when the food finally got here we ate until our stomachs exploded then we talked till the sun went down then we headed for bed

What's that I asked?

A dream monitor I need to sleep with this for a week so then I can find out what's wrong said Kyle

Well that sounds fun I said

Yeah well warning I get horrible nightmares said Kyle

Of what your dad naked I asked

Nope Bebe naked said Kyle

I laughed

Yeah vie seen that it's creepy especially her pregnant I said

Actually the women's stomach during pregnancy is a beautiful thing…..am just tired of seeing her vag said Kyle

Ha ha ha I said

We laughed all night till I fell asleep then I had a long long nights rest

I woke up to Kyles machine going bat shit crazy

Ah yelled Kyle

Are you ok I asked?

Yeah yeah just a nightmare said Kyle

Shit not another what happened I asked

Tray…having a sex change said Kyle

I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING

What's so funny asked Kyle

Its 6 am in the morning and you had a nightmare about tray becoming a women I said

Ha ha said Kyle and its even funnier when I tell him said Kyle

Huh I said

I have to tell my fiancé every nightmare I get and he has to hear it for it helps my brain said Kyle

…CALL HIM I said

Kyle dialed the phone and acted upset

Sniff tray I had a nightmare said Kyle

I'm on my way said tray

No it's good Stans here said Kyle

Ok good what happened asked tray?

I dreamed you became a women said Kyle

…..bye said tray

He hung up

HA HA HA we both laughed

The rest of the morning we had pancakes then we went to Wendy's house to pick out the flowers and I came to deal with the fact I'm not gay and me a Kyle are even closer as friends than ever before

**END OF CHAPTER**

**END SUMMERY**

**Man that was awesome and fun to write I hope that Wendy will cool off soon cause I think Stan might lose it if Wendy is down his throat anymore lol and I wonder how the honeymoon is doing…..FIND OUT SOON FOLKS**

**Reminder**

**Remember the contest **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 The honeymoon

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**WARNING LEMON (well duh I mean it's a honeymoon) READER DESCRESION**

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 9 The honeymoon

**Kenny's P.O.V**

You know the feeling when you are in love your stomach hurts you feel funny around them and then every time you talk to them there is a tiny twitch between your eye and cheek well I have this everyday now with my wife Bebe McCormick and I am the happiest husband in the world I may be only 16 but I don't care that I have a pregnant wife with a son on the way I can't wait to meet the little fella but we have a problem…..what do we name him ohh it's so annoying cause the names I come up with suck James matt even john sound stupid grr WE NEED A NAME and I got on the phone with Kyle who says they have a surprise for us when we get back ha probably a baby shower

Hey Kyle I said

Sup bro so how's Hawaii asked Kyle

Didn't you ask yesterday plus it's not the first time I've been here I said

Yeah I know so I hope you too are having some fun alone said Kyle

Yeah we have so much alone time I think we might not come home I said

OH YOUR COMING BACK yelled Wendy

Wendy hey I said

DON'T HEY ME IM NOT IN A FUCKING HEY MOOD said Wendy

Uhhhh I said

She's kind of irritable Stan got her some meds to calm her down said Kyle

AHHH yelled Bebe

HONEY ARE YOU OK I yelled

Yeah I'm fine I just looked in the mirror its official I'm fat said Bebe

Yeah but you are glowing I yelled back

Thanks huh

I herd chunks blow

You ok honey I asked

Yeah just a bit of morning sickness said Bebe

Yeah I'm not exactly in heaven here I said

Well your happy right asked Kyle

Yes I am and I would never change this for a million dollars I said

….don't you guys have a million dollars asked Kyle

Well uhhhh…..shut up I said

I hung the phone up

So you want to lay on the beach asked Bebe

Sure I said as long as I don't get eaten by a shark I said

Well if you do what our plan has asked Bebe

Just act like a wife who just became a widow then no one will suspect anything I said

Oh ok well when the last accident that happened has asked Bebe

Well besides the giant H dropping on me it was almost 2 years sense I died on accident I said

Wow that's amazing why this is a curse again asked Bebe

Because I am accident prone but I guess that bet I made with Satan helped me not die as much as I used to when I was younger I said

Oh so let's go said Bebe…in a 2 top

Oh your wearing that I asked

Yeah I am I am showing off my baby to the world for 1 day…..unless you want to go to the nude beach 1st asked Bebe

Ha ha ha we promised on our last day in Hawaii we would go there I said

Well maybe I want to go today is that a problem asked Bebe

Nope let's go I said

We went to an all-natural beach it said ages 18 and up but I scored some fake IDs so then we could get in it was so easy and Bebe looked hot

Bebes boobs went from DD to BB but they still were pretty and she shaved down south just for me but the best part of her was that 6 month baby fat she had now she was beautiful

Hello said a stranger

Hi I said trying not to stare at the junk

My name is Bob and this is my wife Zoey

Wow I swear I was retarded because I got hard in front of a chubby Italian girl whose hair was black and boobs bigger then my fists they had to be 36 D cause damn they were big and Bebe noticed that I noticed them ah shit

Hey honey who's your friend said Bebe kicking the back of my leg

Oh we are married nude photographers said Zoey

Oh really said Bebe

I'm sorry are you pregnant asked Bob

WHY IS IT CAUSE IM FAT yelled Bebe

No no its cause you have a beautiful glow and a charming attitude said Bob

I whispered

Nice save trust me she is extra cranky pregnant and she was pretty bitchy before

Thank you that's sweet said Bebe

…can I take a picture of you asked Zoey to Bebe?

Bebe blushed

Uh no you're not getting my naked body on your freaky porno magazine said Bebe

NO NO we are not porno photographers we represent the mothers of America we are on our honey moon and we wanted a picture of you pregnant because we believe that's where the beauty lies

Oh well ok said Bebe

And don't worry we won't tell anyone here you're really 16 said Zoey

Wait what how do you know asked Bebe

You look 16 just saying but you are very pretty and technically it's not pornography because no certain parts are being shown I mean god Miley Cyrus took a picture of her back at the age of 14 so what if it's your stomach said bob

I sat there and watched as Bebe posed for the photographer covering her private areas and I thought she was hot as hell and she noticed because well I scored when we got back to the room

Hey Kenny you think I was pretty (she took of her cloths) naked asked Bebe

….yes I said walking towards her

Our lips touched and I rubbed her shoulders and kissed her neck she had a problem with sex cause of the baby but I knew what to do I laid her down and put my dick in her and she was shouting my name the entire time (I wish she didn't do that I hate when in porn the girl shouts the guy's name it's such a turn off) when I finished she said I did a good job and laid down I was right behind her putting massage oil on her back and shoulders and a little on her belly then I whispered to the baby

I don't know who you are or why you are in this belly

Bebe giggled

I don't have any skills what's so ever but I have money and I will talk care of you so listen good get out of my wife so then I can love you like a father should I said

The baby then kicked

HA IT WORKED I yelled

Wow that was precious said Bebe I have to call Wendy

Bebe called and Stan picked up her phone

Hey said Stan

OH hi Stan is Wendy indisposed are u 2 busy asked Bebe

Ha no I wish but she's passed out on the couch poor girl took this period pill and its support to get rid of the problem early but it knocked her out said Stan

Aww said Bebe

Yeah said Stan

Ha I made a taken reference and the baby reacted to it by kicking I said

Ha let me guess little lender asked Stan

No that's a dumb name I said

Well how about Trent said Bebe

Or Steve said Stan

No and no how about ken I said

Ha no not a male Barbie said Bebe

Ha ha I said

Well I'm sure you 2 will find a good name said Stan

Yeah I hope so I said

So what are you guys doing asked Stan?

Well we just had sex I said

Good bye said Stan

HEY I said

What I don't need to stick around for round 2 bro said Stan

Ha well that ain't happening cause it's dangerous to fuck while pregnant I said

They why did you asked Stan

It was her idea being pregnant made her horny I said

Dude she always has been horny said Stan

Shut up I said

Its true said Bebe

See said Stan

Be nice to them said Kyle in the background

HI KYLE I said

Hey Kenny shouted Kyle

How's your situation I asked

It's good hey Stan can you check on Wendy I want to talk to Kenny in private asked Kyle

Ok man whatever said Stan

I wondered what they were all doing in one room hmm

So what's up I asked?

It's about tray said Kyle

Oh no don't tell me u 2 are fighting again I said

No said Bebe

No were ok better than ever actually it's just he knows about your curse how asked Kyle

That's so weird why everyone is finding out about this I asked

I don't know and if it's true….does Stan know asked Kyle

He said he didn't right I asked

Yeah but the way he said it was different and Wendy told me that just cause 1 person doesn't believe you doesn't mean we all don't believe you said Kyle

…..she know 2 I said

Then it hit me its all makes sense now Kyle died then I died they didn't remember but they looked kind of shocked when they saw me alive they probably didn't want to ask because….

ITS YOU KYLE I said

Huh said Kyle

You are the reason why everyone remembers you died they saw you die and death just smacked everyone in the face so now my curse has been reviled to the town of south park but only my closest friends…and Jesus knows about it because they all care about you so then they remembered me and cared for me IM BEING REMEMBERED WHICH MEANS HALF OF MY CURSE IS DISAPEARING I said in a yell of excitement

Yayyyy yelled Bebe holding me

Her bare boobs on my side made me really happy

Uh Kenny sorry but once is enough maybe after little Mitch comes out then we could have real fun said Bebe

We're not calling him Mitch I said

What about Larry said Kyle

No I said

Mike asked Bebe

No I said

North said Bebe

Why the fuck would we name our baby after the child of a gay fish and a fucking hobbit I asked

Bebe chuckled

Well whatever the name is I hope you 2 have a fun honeymoon said Kyle

…were leaving tomorrow I said

Wait what why asked Kyle

It was my idea Hawaii's fun but family and friends are where it's at I should take us 7 hours to fly back said Bebe

Ok well good night said Kyle

I hung up

Hmm his acting funny I said

Hehe so what's with the sticky you like what you see asked Bebe

Yes I do but no fooling around that's what you said I said

Yeah with me but I'm hungry for your cock said Bebe

She put my dick deep throat in her mouth and thrusted it back and forth and I enjoyed every second of it until I came in her mouth

….CHARLES I yelled

NO said Bebe spitting out the cum

Oh shit uhhhh Danny I said

Nope said Bebe

Hmm Trever I said

Nope said Bebe

Eric I said

FUCK NO

**END OF CHAPTER**

**End summery**

**Ha ha what's the name of the baby hopefully they will come up with a good name and sorry it took me so damn long I was abducted by visitors I had to fight for my life anyway WE NEED REVIEWS cause reviews gives me strength and strength give me ideas and ideas makes this fanfic less shitty then I will admit it has kind of gotten man I need a good idea for Kyles P.O.V man it's going to be a long night cause I'm not updating tonight OH and if you have any south park fanfic you want me to read let me know I love a good long fanfic no matter how gay it is lol**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 who is Kenny

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Stans P.O.V

Who is kenny I saw him shoot himself in the head and then he just came back to life I remember all them other times he died like it was nothing but I keep it to myself cause Kyle might think I'm nuts but all that changed later today

Later that day

Kyle bought us some more time by telling kenny to at least stay in Hawaii for another 2 days I still don't know why they are coming back so early I didn't think we were that damn important to him but you know whatever its kenny the fucking super hero I guess a week without mysterion would be a bad thing man I wish he would grow up sometimes anyway the reason why we don't want them here is cause we are going to surprise them with the babies room tray helped build the crib me and Wendy painted….ugh she was on her period for the last 5 days but thankfully she mellowed out now and is in a better mood and we just finished painting when this happened

SHIT yelled Kyle

What I asked

Bebe decided to lie to me and are already in south park they will be here in literally 20 mins said Kyle

Damn it we need the cake and welcome home sign I thought we had more time I asked

I have a cake said a voice

Huh who's there asked Kyle

POOF

It was Jesus I have no idea why he showed up but you know what ever I guess this is South Park and he did have a show on the weekdays

Kenny is one of my closest friends sense we have coffee every weds day said Jesus

Well thanks I said but you weren't at the wedding I said

Yeah I had a show to do kenny understood but I really want to make it up to them so I can help with the party just get the party guests and Stan you pick up the couple so they don't need a cab you have 5 mins to drive down to the airport if you leave now you can make it GO said Jesus

I didn't argue and I bolted out the door to my truck and sped down to the airport I made it early so I texted Jesus on what to do

Jesus ok Stan now we need exactly an half an hour so stall them anyway you can I'm sure you can do something

Stan like what you want me to talk to them

Jesus act like your truck broke down and then call AAA I'm sure there crappy service will take a good 30 mins

Stan no last time the truck broke down they were here in a good 10 mins

Jesus well I can give you 1 miracle but only 1

Stan ha make the flight delayed

Jesus no my son I cannot for it's already landed

Stan hmm traffic jam and a big one

Jesus ok perfect and in 30 mins the traffic will clear up so fast that you will get home quick

I couldn't text him back for I saw Bebe and Kenny

HEY GUYS I yelled

STAN yelled Kenny

Bebe and Kenny ran towards me

What are you doing here asked Kenny?

What I can't pick you guys up I asked

Well yeah sure I mean its random I didn't know you knew we were coming said Kenny

Yeah well we best hurry because we don't want to hit traffic I said

Yeah I don't need that much stress said Bebe

….what I said

Yeah she had an episode while we were on vacation it was a stress pocket trust me a traffic jam will be a bad idea for the both of us said Kenny

(FUCK)

Oh well I'm sure it won't be that bad but do we have an emergency anti stress kit I asked

Yeah in my purse why asked Bebe

Just being precautious I said

I managed to kill 5 mins talking before we left but now I'm going to have to deal with Bebe o well

We got out of the airport normally it would take 5 min to get home but…

AH SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I yelled out the window

Perfect Jesus came through

Damn it said Kenny

Oh boy just what I needed stress said Bebe

Then Bebe went from calm to well…

KENNY YOU ASSHOLE LOOK WHAT HAPPENED NOW IM IN A TRUCK GOING 1 MILE PER HOUR WHEN I COULD BE AT HOME RESTING ON THE COUCH BECAUSE YOU HAD TO TRUST STAN no offence Stan AND NOW IM HAVING A HEAD ACHE yelled a very angry Bebe

I'm sorry honey here are your head phone and you calm down music said Kenny

Bebe put the music on and fell asleep

Ah thank god said Kenny

Ha Jesus I said

Yeah well I love her to death but sometimes I want to blow my brains out said Kenny

Then I thought about the gun shot the dead Kenny the freaked out Bebe

Uh you wouldn't really do that would you I asked

Huh no it's an expression why do you ask said Kenny

Well I shuddered to say it

Well what Stan asked Kenny?

I THOUGHT I SAW YOU DIE I blurted out like an idiot

….oh said Kenny

I know I'm a retard I saw you at the hospital put a gun to your head and pull the trigger it freaked me and Wendy out but for some reason the next day we all forgot but then Kyle told me about hell just hit me in the face that morning when me and you talked I wanted to tell you I saw you die but I couldn't I just ignored it cause I was in the back of my mind and I didn't even see it really till later on that day and

I kept blabbing on and on and on for a good fucking 20 mins

And that time you got hit by a fucking train it came back and

OK I GET IT yelled Kenny

Huh I said

Dude calm your shit man I can't die vie tried to prove it over and over and over and over again but no one remembers it but guess what you do now and it's kind of annoying remembering it all over again and if you think I'm mad at you for forgetting I'm not you are my closest friend and I believe that if you had a choice you could of protected me a lot but you don't I'm cursed to never die and you are cursed with not paying the fuck attention when traffic finally moves god damnit marsh said kenny

I turned oh shit I hit the gas and we looked what caused the buildup…..it appears the Jesus show billboard fell down In the middle of the street

Ha Jesus is going to be pissed said Kenny

Ha he probably heard that I said…wait is that why you talk to Jesus every wends day cause of your deaths

Duh said Kenny

Yeah even I got that said Bebe

When did you wake up I asked

Oh vie been awake and welcome to the I know kenny immortal club we have jackets in the works but if you act now you get a laminated business card said Bebe

Ha can I get a discount anywhere from that I said

Fuck no we ain't that popular said Bebe

We finally reached bebes house

Wait Bebe just do not freak out ok I said

Why asked Bebe

I opened the door and...

SURPRISE WELCOME HOME

And then the high pitch scream

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yelled Bebe running towards Wendy

Oh my god when how why asked Bebe

Uhhhh 30 mins ago with this guy's help

Hey said Jesus

And because I love you girl said Wendy

Oh and if you like this follow me I said

Hey I was going to show them said Kyle

Show us what said Kenny

Kyle and I opened the spare room in bebes house to reveal

OH MY GOD ITS BEAUTIFUL yelled Bebe

Dude what the hell said Kenny

Hey said Jesus

Sorry but I love it I can't believe you made the baby room for us said Kenny

Yeah so little Philip can sleep I said

No and wow it's actually good said Kenny

And sense we are lazy we decided to make this also your baby shower said Wendy

Bebe and kenny got a baby monitor from me and Wendy a high chair from Nicholes and token a stroller carrier combo from tray and Kyle (damn it looked expensive) and an crib from Jesus which took him 1 minute to make well cause the one tray built broke man I hope they don't adopt soon but tray did build the changing area really quick and surprisingly cartmen not only showed up but got them 6 months' worth of dippers damn just damn we all talked till all but bebes parents, Kyle, tray, Wendy, Jesus, and 1 were left bebes parents went upstairs and we talked

Ok guys so who hear is part of this Kenny is immortal club I asked

Kenny face palmed

Huh asked Kyle you know

Yeah I do I said

Wow I knew last week when Bebe told me said Wendy

WAIT YOU KNEW I said in a high toed voice

Yep I did I was scared you didn't know so I kept my mouth shut said Wendy

So why is it that we are just now remembering I asked?

Its simple said Kenny…Kyle

Huh I said Kyle

Yes you dying snapped us into knowing the knowledge of death so then we all remembered it happening over 15 years of me dying just smacked us in the face but Bebe didn't know was cause she never really saw me die only Wendy and me impregnating her caused her to be immune to the forgetting part of the curse and Jesus is well Jesus said kenny

Yeah its true I am the son of god for a reason resurrection is my power said Jesus

That and handy with wood said tray

We all laughed

Uhhhh I thought I was handy with wood said Kyle

We all busted out laughing well except Jesus cause he didn't really roll that way he didn't mind it he just didn't like the whole homosexuality just yet

Well I must be off said Jesus I have a show tomorrow and people have questions that I need to answer

Bye Jesus I said thanks for the distraction

What distraction said Kenny?

…..YOU CAUSED THE BUILD UP MY GOD WHY yelled Bebe

Because you guys showed up a day early man you guys went from 7 days in Hawaii to only 5 man what's wrong with you guys I said

Sorry we got bored said Bebe

Bored with nonstop sex said Wendy

Actually there are certain positions that me and kenny can't do cause IM PREGNANT I can't do anal cause hey my stomach hurts and missionary is still hard and oh I can't even be on top cause it would crush kenny spine….i know I accidently did on the 2nd night said Bebe

I just laughed right there

Ha ha that's pretty funny Kenny I mean being crushed by your wife thank god everyone forgot that because that would be embarrassing I said

Gee thanks I'm glad my death can touch your funny bone said Kenny

Then Jesus came back

I'm sorry I forgot my keys ha ha said Jesus

Oh there right there said Wendy

Thanks OH AND thank you bingobingotwo for being such a good fan and your idea will be placed in a future story said Jesus

We all looked confused I whispered to Kenny

Who the fuck is he talking to

I'm kind of scared said Kenny

We ignored Jesus comment and continued our talked

Well guys it's getting late me and Wendy have to get home I said

Oh you 2 need some alone time said Bebe

Maybe said Wendy whispering to Bebe

Oh that sounds hot said Bebe winking at me

Uhhhh i shuddered

Wendy grabbed me oh we have 1 night of freedom before school and I am taking advantage of this warning you are going to be sore tonight

Oh ok I said

Wendy whispered in my ears

I got some whips in your trunk you can thank Kyle

Uhhhh Kyle why do you have whips I asked

Kyle blushed

Uhhhh what me and tray do in bed has nothing to do with you

Bebe laughed

DON'T HURT HIM TO MUCH WENDY

Oh I will make him my bitch tonight replied Wendy

We went to the car and had a quick conversation before the love making

So uhhhh should we discuss the safe word now or later I mean it's still weird that I would have a kink for S&M but still safe word please I asked

Its banana said Wendy oh and I hope you like the outfit I have

I saw the leather I haven't seen Wendy in leather sense her attempt at getting my attention away from the sub teacher and then shot her into the sun which made me nervous right then

Oh shit I said

Oh and I hope you like a gag said Wendy

…oh fuck

**END OF CHAPTER**

**End Summery**

**DAMN Wendy is getting dominate too bad we won't know what happens tonight oh well I might have Stan tell Kyle if I'm in a good mood and I am rarely in a good mood lol jk anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter we have 5 more to go before then next story and folks I think we only have 2 more stories to go before I'm done with the saga of south park (I'm calling it that so shut it) but I'm sure I can make some quickie stories or semi single stories and I have gotten a message or 2 about a style or 2 (Stan plus Kyle) and I might do that cause that's what got me into fanfic in the first place oh well good night folks I'm sure not to delay tomorrow**

**QUICK NOTE**

**Yes folks the contest is over I gave you 48 hours and I got a few requests and I thought hmm how should I shout out your name Mr. winner I KNOW lets have Jesus do it cause we always ask what would Jesus do**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 Newest family member

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 11 Newest family member

**Kyles P.O.V**

Its 3 am on the night od bebes party I had a nightmare and I texted Stan the whole hey no sleep for me how about you text that we used to do when we first got cell phones it was the easiest way we could talk in privacy we would call it our super best friend meeting and it was fun no matter how early or late it was if we were both awake because of stress we would talk and lucky for me Stan was awake…..

**Stan hey what's up? **

**Kyle sorry did I wake you**

**Stan no no I can't sleep well anyway but Wendy's passed out**

**Kyle ha you worked her up didn't you**

**Stan man she is a freak in bed I'm going to need to ask her to calm down a bit but I'm afraid then she will take it easy **

**Kyle ha ha tell me everything bro**

**Stan uggh fine but this doesn't leave here got it **

**Kyle dude Wendy don't give 2 shits plus I asked her for the details and she promised me for the toys you guys probably used **

**Stan….you bought the strap on**

**Kyle OH SHIT LMFAO**

**Stan yeah it actually wasn't that bad oh and thanks for making me curious that way bro**

**Kyle did you think of me **

**Stan fuck no I thought of Wendy the entire time plus we didn't do that long cause it got to strange**

**Kyle oh ok but the gag and whip huh huh**

**Stan grr yes we used them**

**Kyle nice what did she wear**

**Stan leather **

**Kyle oh I knew that outfit would come in handy**

**Stan how did I know you bought her that OH and the thong with the zipper there ain't no way that was meant for chicks dude**

**Kyle (giggle) I wanted Wendy to test it before my birthday in a month **

**Stan yeah still forget your 3 months older than me damn 17 that's going to be crazy**

**Kyle yeah my ass is going to hurt**

**Stan TMI bro**

**Kyle whatever you like it ok ok what is your exact sight right now then I will let you sleep**

**Stan fine fine she is topless with her fun thong thingy and it's a nice view of her bare ass **

**Kyle that's hot**

**2 mins later**

**Stan yeah I got slapped by Wendy saying no round 2 **

**Kyle ha ha you want more huh**

**Stan no I don't I just smacked her ass as a joke **

**Kyle ok well I'm going to let you go**

**Stan hold on dude I have to ask you a question**

**Kyle ok**

**Stan…..would I make a good father**

**Kyle oh why do you ask?**

**Stan because Kenny about to be one and it made me think wonder what if Wendy and I had a kid sooner then later**

**Kyle you can't knock her up before the wedding bro that's unethical**

**Stan I know I'm waiting at least 1 year after well that is unless she goes to Harvard or Stanford**

**Kyle or Yale**

**Stan fuck Yale no one gives 2 shits about Yale**

**Kyle ha ha and to answer your question yes you would make a good father**

**Stan thanks**

**Stan KYLE GO TO BED STANS PHONE IS MINE AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SELF I MIGHT TELL TRAY TO PUNISH YOU FOR THAT**

**Kyle oh I can't wait **

3 MONTHS LATER

I finally got my license a months ago and I got a new car from my dad its funny Stan got his license way before me I guess he just wanted to drive more than I did well I'm talking to tray on my way to bebes so I can help her pack cause any day now she will be due kenny is trying to get a job at the grocery store so he's at an interview and stans with his dad talking about the joy of fatherhood

So yeah tray I wish you weren't hanging with you dad in Denver and that you were fishing like Stan and his dad do I said

Yeah well its ok I will be there tonight how is you back doing asked tray

Sense you whipped me into submission good by the way I loved every bit of it I said

Yeah it was weird for me said tray

I know and I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable

We talked for a good hour on the phone ironically I was just outside bebes house the entire time

I walked up to her door knocked 3 times and a very very pregnant Bebe came at me

HI Kyles said Bebe

Hey sexy I said

No I'm anything but sexy did you bring what I asked

Yep 2 tacos a big mac and a pizza wow them craving I said

Yeah they make me fat said Bebe

No you pregnant make you fat said Wendy

I walked inside

Why you have to be a bitch said Bebe in tears

Oh I'm sorry I forgot your kind of emotional said Wendy hugging Bebe

Sniff why did you do this 2 me Wendy said Bebe

Did what asked Wendy

Seduce me said Bebe

Ha because you're so damn sexy I thought to myself how I do get in them pants said Wendy

Sniff that's hot said Bebe laughing right then

Wow you go from sad to happy I said

AHHHHH yelled Bebe

To angry I laughed

Wendy laughed

ITS TIME yelled Bebe

Time for what to eat said Wendy

No its time to smash I said

MY WATER FUCKING BROKE yelled Bebe

We froze and then we panicked

Wendy called Stan on her phone put it on speaker while I grabbed the stuff and Bebe grabbed my arm

HELP ME yelled Bebe

Calm down Bebe were working as fast as we can I said

Hey Wendy said Stan on the phone I'm on my way what's up

CODE RED yelled Wendy

Huh asked Stan

THE BABY said Wendy

I heard in the background tire burning

I have to get the minivan from home it won't take me but 10 seconds to drop my dad off said Stan

Ok hurry up said Wendy

He got a minivan…..OWWW I yelled as Bebe held my arm

Yeah for this kind of emergency said Wendy

OWW Bebe said freaking out

Remember to breathe said Wendy

Bebe repeated her breathing while I called Kenny

Time was going 50 miles per hour it took Stan less then humanly possible to get to the house

I called Kenny

Hey I'm in the interview what's up the guys giving me a look said Kenny

YOUR WIFES IN LABOR I said

….i got to go sir said Kenny

WAIT said the man

IM HAVING A BABY WOHOOO yelled Kenny

We picked Bebe up and carried her to the van and had the baby cartridge in the back and Stan hit the gas pedal

HURRY UP yelled Bebe

We're moving as fast as we can Bebe said Wendy in the back seat

AHHHHHHHHHH yelled Bebe

I was so happy to be in the front next to Stan anything to get away from bebes death grip

But then traffic jam

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK yelled Bebe

Stan did something foolish which he's lucky worked

HOLD ON said Stan

He put the minivan into 4 wheel drive and drove through the snow and ground a cop pulled us over but saw Bebe in the back seat so he offered us an escort thank god I thought to myself and we finally reached the hospital but before kenny they carried Bebe into the delivery room

WHERES THE FATHER yelled on of the nurses

Hess on his way said Stan

KYLE GET OVER HERE yelled Bebe YOU'RE THE GODFATHER

I totally forgot that and ran back there with Bebe by closest friend the girl who protected me from assholes and bullies and helped me get confidence to talk to tray now in a bed ready to deliver her child and she was PISSED

GET THIS KID OUT OF MY BELLY yelled Bebe

Who botch I said

NO ASS said Bebe

Oh how about Patrick

NO said Bebe

She knew I was trying to distract her

UHH HOW ABOUT UHH AHHHH JAKE said Bebe

No I said

Finally the father came in

….chad said Kenny

Huh said Bebe finally calm

Yeah chad McCormick that has a good ring to it said Kenny

….i love it said Bebe…AHHHHHH

Push Bebe push said the doctor

I AM FUCKING PUSHING AHHHHHHHH

Come on honey said Kenny

I kind of got woozy seeing bebes vag opening up

She's crowning said the doctor

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Come on just ONE MORE PUSH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…..

Everything went silent then the sound of an infant crying was heard

Sniff he's a beautiful healthy boy said the doctor

Kenny was in tears my little chad he's so handsome

You want to cut the cord Kenny asked the doctor

Kenny got the scissors and cut the umbilical cord and they took the baby to be cleaned

Bebe now woozy

Where is my baby Kenny Said?

Don't worry honey he's just getting clean said Kenny

Ok ok said Bebe

Her heart all of the sudden stopped

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO said Kenny

Then I heard a voice in my head saying these words

She won't die

She then somehow woke up and her heart beat returned to normal

Thank you voice I said

Your welcome said Jesus

He was right there the whole time with flowers

Wow I felt like a dumb ass of course he would be there he's like Kenny bff

So my child how are you doing asked Bebe

Hurt sore and thank you for sending me to heaven for those 6 seconds I really didn't want to see Satan said Bebe

So how was dying said Kenny

Uhhhh it was weird god was there and told me to always love those around me and weird buddy crap said Bebe

Finally little chad was carried in the room and Bebe held him in her arms then Wendy walked in

Aww he's so cute said Wendy

Yeah hey thank you Wendy for helping me out though the pregnancy now is the fun part parenthood and if its anything like my parents went through then it will be exhausting said Bebe

Well not while they are just we little babies he will be sleeping most of the time said Wendy

Yeah but me and Kenny have to focus our attention to him said Bebe

Just don't be over protective said Wendy

He ain't going out of my sight said Bebe

I saw Kenny slip away so I followed him

Hey Kenny you ok I asked

Yeah I'm just its weird am I going to be a good father asked Kenny

Yes I said

I think you will 2 said Stan walking in

Yeah what makes you think that asked Kenny

Because you're the master of death you've stared in the eyes of both Satan and god parenthood should be a snap compared to that said Stan

Ha I rather lick Satan's balls then make a mistake in that child said Kenny

What mistake would you make I asked

The mistake of becoming an alcoholic the mistake of losing all our money the mistake of becoming a druggy like my basturd of a father said Kenny

You're not like him dude in fact your better I said

Yeah well even if that is true I'm scared shitless about this I mean a son at my age I have finals this week and my job interview got screwed over cause the guy said I was a slob and he would make sure I don't find a job in this town said kenny

What the fuck I said your wife was in labor it's not your fault so if you need a lawyer I can get you one I said

Thanks more money I can use said Kenny

Yes more money that will go to your son when he gets older I said

Yeah Chad Ken McCormick

**END OF CHAPTER**

**End summery**

**YAY CHAD WAS BORN this chapter was fun to make and I know Jesus is in this story a lot but this was a very death kind of story Satan's coming back for one more chapter soon and then we can focus on my next story which will come into attention soon so get ready get set and…..REVIEW**

**Quick note **

**Don't ask whats with the S&M crap**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 the roles of Fatherhood

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 12 the roles of Fatherhood

**Kenny's P.O.V**

With being a father you have responsibities like wake up check the kid kids asleep cook breakfast for wife who is still in recovery kid cries change kid if is messy give kid to wife so she can nurse clean house to keep in-laws happy get ready for court this Saturday change baby again rock baby put baby down for nap spend time with wife and make her happy because a happy wife is a good wife spend at least 2 hours alone to smoke or watch T.V then wake baby up again make dinner give wife baby to nurse again (I swear he likes bebes boobs more than me) change baby then go to bed wake up 2 times in the middle of the night to calm baby down then repeat the proses…..for a good 2 months

Wendy came over to help Bebe lose some of that baby fat so we talked

Hey I said

Hi said Wendy in a sarcastic voice

You mad I asked

Yep said Wendy

At me I asked

Yes said Wendy

You hate me I asked

No said Wendy

You posing

Fuck you no imp not said Wendy

Ok that's 1 mystery solved I said

Ok said Wendy

I give up what did I do I asked

You knocked Bebe up said Wendy

Oh why didn't you kill me before I asked?

Cause Bebe was emotional but now it's different imp pissed at you for being stupid imp pissed at you for practically ruining bebes future imp pissed that now I have a nephew but imp proud of you for being a good father imp proud of you for taking care of Bebe I'm proud of you for marrying her and I'm proud of you for being a good friend so yeah I don't hate you I'm just irritable imp sure if you stay on my good side you might make me be less angry at you so yeah that's what's wrong said Wendy

Oh ok I'm just glad you didn't put a bullet in my head I said

Oh trust me I am putting one in your head

Wendy picks gun out and shoots

Well now I'm in hell ha bebes best friend shoots me just for fun that's fucking hilarious I'm sure bebes laughing her ass of I decided to take the opportunity to talk to a couple of people including the smartest guy I know

TIMMAY

Hi Timmy so I'm having problems I said

Gush gag a TIMMAH

Yeah I know I know it's hard being a father I said

TIMMAH

Yeah I agree I just need to relax and take every advantage I get to relax to live just because I have a son it doesn't mean I'm doomed thanks Timmy I said

TIMMAH

Well then I woke up from death and Bebe is waiting for me

So Wendy killed ya said Bebe

Yeah but it's cool I said

Wish she would have at least left the house because the baby woke up and Wendy was stuck taking care of chad said Bebe

Yeah well think of it this way I piss you off to the point of wanting to kill me….just kill me it's a good stress reliever I said

Yeah but not if it's in front of chad cause he might grow up thinking killing is a good idea but maybe if we are alone and I go a little overboard I might just blow your brains out to release stress I said

Yeah I guess but you know I love you said Bebe

**The next day **

Bebe gave me a day off of fatherhood I guess the in laws wanted to spend time with chad

I hung out with Kyle and Stan

So I'm standing outside with my pants off cause the guys thought it would be funny to hold my boxers for me just to embarrass me in front of the girls walking by the guys locker room well then tray walked by and decided to take his pants off to not only creep the assholes off but it also back fired there plan and the girls were impressed with us so that was my last day of school how was your kenny said Kyle

Huh oh it was fine I mean it was a month ago I said

Yeah but we haven't seen each other in a month cause of the baby by the way when can we see little chad asked Kyle

Not until we get him vaccinated I said

Ha maybe you should circumcise him said Stan

Why the fuck would I do that I asked

Ha we did that when we were young said Stan

Well I'm not doing that for my son I said

You ok man asked Kyle

Sorry baby kept me up all night with his crying I said

Oh man you need to relax how about we go out to a spa and just get a steaming said Kyle

I'm out said Stan

Dude it's not gay bro it really helps said Kyle

Are you sure asked Stan?

Yeah said Kyle how about you Kenny asked Kyle

Ok sure I said half-awake I texted Bebe saying that I might show up around late tonight she told me it's cool cause her parents are saying shit about me she asked where me and they guys are going

I pulled my gun out and blew my head off I could hear Stan and Kyle right before I died

Damn it Kenny you could have just said hey I don't want to go to the spa you didn't have to kill yourself said Kyle

Hey he left a note said Stan

Went to see chief I was bored and needed some alone time in hell maybe Satan has something to say to me and guys its nothing but MY GOD a spa day were not chicks Kyle ok

Hmm weird I was going to offer him a ticket to the girl spa because gays are allowed in there he would just have to act gay said Kyle

…..ok let's go I can tell Wendy we needed this and maybe I can get her a ticket said Stan

Dude I got a free…..

Then I blacked out FUCK I thought to myself I chose hell over mixed gender spa great just fucking great oh well time to talk to chief for some advice

Hello Kenny said chief

Hey chief I said

So how living is said chief

Ha the irony I thought

It's good I have a son now I said

Well that's cool so how's being a father asked chief

It's annoying I'm exhausted all the time and I'm bored all the time I need something in my life to have meaning I said

Well why not go to the spa it always relaxed I said chief

…..FUCK

Well that sounds kind of gay just saying I said

Well if you act gay you can pick up women and if they ask just say sorry I'm just 90% gay I want to make sure I can still do this and BAM she might get pissed off but then it's too late said chief

Huh I'm married with a kid why would I do that I asked

Just saying its not gay said chief

Me a chief talked for a good hour till Satan showed up

Hello and welcome to hell oh hi Kenny

Sup I said

Why you are here asked Satan

Bored need advice on being a father I said

Well as 1 father to another trust me it ain't easy said Satan

Hess talking about domain his hell spawn of a son I don't like him has really weird and he drives me nuts thank god has grounded for eternity

Well my sons only a moths old and the crying is driving me nuts I said

Hey wait a second didn't you come here yesterday asked Satan

Yeah so what I said

Dude why not go bother god for once and not me said Satan

Ha I can't get to heaven unless I convert to Mormonism I said

Well that or well…..THIS yelled Satan

Satan zapped me with some lightning then all of the sudden I was in heaven great now I get to spend the rest of my day away from my son with god what else can happen I thought

Hello Kenny said god

Hi god how are you I asked

I'm good and I sense you have a lot of questions said god

Yeah like how do I become a good father I said?

I can't tell you how you have to find out that answer on your own said god

Oh well I thought you were god you don't have an answer either dang it I don't want to waste my time hear and it's a one way trip from hell to heaven I said

TELL ME ABOUT IT said Saddam Hussain

Shut up sad dam no one care I said

What I can change said saddam

Yeah whatever I said

Well we could always watch your friends get yelled at said god

Sounds fun I said

God pulled out a big plasma T.V screen

UGGH STAN WHY DID YOU GO INTO A WOMENS SPA asked Wendy in a pissed off voice

It was Kyle's idea said Stan

I don't care said Wendy its messed up we are going to get married soon and you are practically cheating on me said Wendy

Actually he never went in said Kyle

Uhhhh that's not what the owner said yelled Wendy

Actually I went in and they got pissed off something about a no gay policy and Stan ran in to get me before we both got kicked out…it didn't work so yeah Wendy be mad at me not him he would never cheat on you said Kyle

Uggh look I'm still pissed but I guess I'm relieved that you didn't see any naked girls said Wendy

Oh I didn't say that said Kyle they were naked he just didn't pay much attention to them

Ha said Bebe so where's my husband did he sneak in when you guys left

No he shot himself in the head said he needed to talk to chief about something said Kyle

Weird don't you think that killing yourself for advice is kind of ironic said Wendy

Yeah like murdering ones husband is ok said Bebe

Wendy shut up and I laughed with god and saddam we all grabbed a beer and watched the drama unfold until this happened

Well when Kenny comes back has going to be pissed because my mother thinks has a bad father and will probably run her mouth off at him for it said Bebe

Hess not a bad dad said Kyle has new at the job I bet your dad was shitty the first time he was alone with you said Kyle

Yeah my dad left me in a dipper and drank beer ignoring my cries said Stan

My dad was screwing my mom while I cried said Wendy

Ironically kenny did more for the baby then I did why else did I give him the day to relax he was going insane and you would have to go crazy to blow your damn brains all over…where were you guys again asked Bebe

Resins said Stan

WHAT yelled Wendy?

What they have good wings plus we got rid of the bimbos said Stan

Yeah I'm about to kick some bimbo ass said Wendy

Leave it alone said Kyle Stan wouldn't hit on a bimbo

Kyle looked at chad

Isn't that right huh huh silly man is Auntie Wendy being silly said Kyle

I turned off the plasma and cried

Sniff my wife thinks I'm a better father then her own dad but I'm so scared that my son will turn out like me or saddam here I said

HEY FUCK YOU said saddam

SADDAM yelled god

Sorry god said saddam

Anyway kenny look at it this way to be better than your father you must do the opposite of how your father raised you then you can prove to his smug ass that you are a wonderful father and he should of raised you better but now you are the stronger man and guess what your son grows up better than most kids so enjoy this knowledge and don't be lazy cause that boy of yours will go places said god

Thanks god hopefully chad doesn't end up like your son I said

What dying for everyone's sins only to be resurrected 3 days later said god

No having to host a T.V show trying to convert people to join a religion that won't send them here I said

Oh true ok by Kenny said god

I woke up in bed next to Bebe who just woke up

Welcome home Kenny in 1 week I can finally touch my man said Bebe

I kissed her right there passingly

You can do anything you want I said

Oh is my birthday here already asked Bebe

Nope you showed me how good a father I truly am even that I'm better then you father I said

Shhh my father might hear you said Bebe

Sorry has a good man though I said

A faint sound of chad crying is in the background

I got him said Bebe

No honey I got him hold on chad daddies coming

**END OF CHAPTER**

**End summery**

**Well kenny is a good dad and yeah I know 2 visits to hell and a visit to heaven ok let me explain I did the first hell trip as a joke because its Timmy and I wanted a cameo from him at least once and that was him just blowing off steam now the 2****nd**** time was cause chief was the best damn character on south park and they never should of killed him off made him a robot and then just forget he ever existed so I basically wanted more chief and 3****rd**** the reason for heaven uh hello god Jesus resurrection Easter is next Sunday DUH oh I hope you're not sick with hell cause guess who's going there in the next chapter we are going to get more CHIEF wooed also we will see a character who I think died off screen on the show but I might be wrong so yeah REVIEW PLEASE and I know the summery is fucking long**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12 the roles of Fatherhood

**Rating** M for some sex and language

**Disclaimer **I do not own the rights to South Park

Chapter 12 the roles of Fatherhood

**Kenny's P.O.V**

With being a father you have responsibities like wake up check the kid kids asleep cook breakfast for wife who is still in recovery kid cries change kid if is messy give kid to wife so she can nurse clean house to keep in-laws happy get ready for court this Saturday change baby again rock baby put baby down for nap spend time with wife and make her happy because a happy wife is a good wife spend at least 2 hours alone to smoke or watch T.V then wake baby up again make dinner give wife baby to nurse again (I swear he likes bebes boobs more than me) change baby then go to bed wake up 2 times in the middle of the night to calm baby down then repeat the proses…..for a good 2 months

Wendy came over to help Bebe lose some of that baby fat so we talked

Hey I said

Hi said Wendy in a sarcastic voice

You mad I asked

Yep said Wendy

At me I asked

Yes said Wendy

You hate me I asked

No said Wendy

You posing

Fuck you no imp not said Wendy

Ok that's 1 mystery solved I said

Ok said Wendy

I give up what did I do I asked

You knocked Bebe up said Wendy

Oh why didn't you kill me before I asked?

Cause Bebe was emotional but now it's different imp pissed at you for being stupid imp pissed at you for practically ruining bebes future imp pissed that now I have a nephew but imp proud of you for being a good father imp proud of you for taking care of Bebe I'm proud of you for marrying her and I'm proud of you for being a good friend so yeah I don't hate you I'm just irritable imp sure if you stay on my good side you might make me be less angry at you so yeah that's what's wrong said Wendy

Oh ok I'm just glad you didn't put a bullet in my head I said

Oh trust me I am putting one in your head

Wendy picks gun out and shoots

Well now I'm in hell ha bebes best friend shoots me just for fun that's fucking hilarious I'm sure bebes laughing her ass of I decided to take the opportunity to talk to a couple of people including the smartest guy I know

TIMMAY

Hi Timmy so I'm having problems I said

Gush gag a TIMMAH

Yeah I know I know it's hard being a father I said

TIMMAH

Yeah I agree I just need to relax and take every advantage I get to relax to live just because I have a son it doesn't mean I'm doomed thanks Timmy I said

TIMMAH

Well then I woke up from death and Bebe is waiting for me

So Wendy killed ya said Bebe

Yeah but it's cool I said

Wish she would have at least left the house because the baby woke up and Wendy was stuck taking care of chad said Bebe

Yeah well think of it this way I piss you off to the point of wanting to kill me….just kill me it's a good stress reliever I said

Yeah but not if it's in front of chad cause he might grow up thinking killing is a good idea but maybe if we are alone and I go a little overboard I might just blow your brains out to release stress I said

Yeah I guess but you know I love you said Bebe

**The next day **

Bebe gave me a day off of fatherhood I guess the in laws wanted to spend time with chad

I hung out with Kyle and Stan

So I'm standing outside with my pants off cause the guys thought it would be funny to hold my boxers for me just to embarrass me in front of the girls walking by the guys locker room well then tray walked by and decided to take his pants off to not only creep the assholes off but it also back fired there plan and the girls were impressed with us so that was my last day of school how was your kenny said Kyle

Huh oh it was fine I mean it was a month ago I said

Yeah but we haven't seen each other in a month cause of the baby by the way when can we see little chad asked Kyle

Not until we get him vaccinated I said

Ha maybe you should circumcise him said Stan

Why the fuck would I do that I asked

Ha we did that when we were young said Stan

Well I'm not doing that for my son I said

You ok man asked Kyle

Sorry baby kept me up all night with his crying I said

Oh man you need to relax how about we go out to a spa and just get a steaming said Kyle

I'm out said Stan

Dude it's not gay bro it really helps said Kyle

Are you sure asked Stan?

Yeah said Kyle how about you Kenny asked Kyle

Ok sure I said half-awake I texted Bebe saying that I might show up around late tonight she told me it's cool cause her parents are saying shit about me she asked where me and they guys are going

I pulled my gun out and blew my head off I could hear Stan and Kyle right before I died

Damn it Kenny you could have just said hey I don't want to go to the spa you didn't have to kill yourself said Kyle

Hey he left a note said Stan

Went to see chief I was bored and needed some alone time in hell maybe Satan has something to say to me and guys its nothing but MY GOD a spa day were not chicks Kyle ok

Hmm weird I was going to offer him a ticket to the girl spa because gays are allowed in there he would just have to act gay said Kyle

…..ok let's go I can tell Wendy we needed this and maybe I can get her a ticket said Stan

Dude I got a free…..

Then I blacked out FUCK I thought to myself I chose hell over mixed gender spa great just fucking great oh well time to talk to chief for some advice

Hello Kenny said chief

Hey chief I said

So how living is said chief

Ha the irony I thought

It's good I have a son now I said

Well that's cool so how's being a father asked chief

It's annoying I'm exhausted all the time and I'm bored all the time I need something in my life to have meaning I said

Well why not go to the spa it always relaxed I said chief

…..FUCK

Well that sounds kind of gay just saying I said

Well if you act gay you can pick up women and if they ask just say sorry I'm just 90% gay I want to make sure I can still do this and BAM she might get pissed off but then it's too late said chief

Huh I'm married with a kid why would I do that I asked

Just saying its not gay said chief

Me a chief talked for a good hour till Satan showed up

Hello and welcome to hell oh hi Kenny

Sup I said

Why you are here asked Satan

Bored need advice on being a father I said

Well as 1 father to another trust me it ain't easy said Satan

Hess talking about domain his hell spawn of a son I don't like him has really weird and he drives me nuts thank god has grounded for eternity

Well my sons only a moths old and the crying is driving me nuts I said

Hey wait a second didn't you come here yesterday asked Satan

Yeah so what I said

Dude why not go bother god for once and not me said Satan

Ha I can't get to heaven unless I convert to Mormonism I said

Well that or well…..THIS yelled Satan

Satan zapped me with some lightning then all of the sudden I was in heaven great now I get to spend the rest of my day away from my son with god what else can happen I thought

Hello Kenny said god

Hi god how are you I asked

I'm good and I sense you have a lot of questions said god

Yeah like how do I become a good father I said?

I can't tell you how you have to find out that answer on your own said god

Oh well I thought you were god you don't have an answer either dang it I don't want to waste my time hear and it's a one way trip from hell to heaven I said

TELL ME ABOUT IT said Saddam Hussain

Shut up sad dam no one care I said

What I can change said saddam

Yeah whatever I said

Well we could always watch your friends get yelled at said god

Sounds fun I said

God pulled out a big plasma T.V screen

UGGH STAN WHY DID YOU GO INTO A WOMENS SPA asked Wendy in a pissed off voice

It was Kyle's idea said Stan

I don't care said Wendy its messed up we are going to get married soon and you are practically cheating on me said Wendy

Actually he never went in said Kyle

Uhhhh that's not what the owner said yelled Wendy

Actually I went in and they got pissed off something about a no gay policy and Stan ran in to get me before we both got kicked out…it didn't work so yeah Wendy be mad at me not him he would never cheat on you said Kyle

Uggh look I'm still pissed but I guess I'm relieved that you didn't see any naked girls said Wendy

Oh I didn't say that said Kyle they were naked he just didn't pay much attention to them

Ha said Bebe so where's my husband did he sneak in when you guys left

No he shot himself in the head said he needed to talk to chief about something said Kyle

Weird don't you think that killing yourself for advice is kind of ironic said Wendy

Yeah like murdering ones husband is ok said Bebe

Wendy shut up and I laughed with god and saddam we all grabbed a beer and watched the drama unfold until this happened

Well when Kenny comes back has going to be pissed because my mother thinks has a bad father and will probably run her mouth off at him for it said Bebe

Hess not a bad dad said Kyle has new at the job I bet your dad was shitty the first time he was alone with you said Kyle

Yeah my dad left me in a dipper and drank beer ignoring my cries said Stan

My dad was screwing my mom while I cried said Wendy

Ironically kenny did more for the baby then I did why else did I give him the day to relax he was going insane and you would have to go crazy to blow your damn brains all over…where were you guys again asked Bebe

Resins said Stan

WHAT yelled Wendy?

What they have good wings plus we got rid of the bimbos said Stan

Yeah I'm about to kick some bimbo ass said Wendy

Leave it alone said Kyle Stan wouldn't hit on a bimbo

Kyle looked at chad

Isn't that right huh huh silly man is Auntie Wendy being silly said Kyle

I turned off the plasma and cried

Sniff my wife thinks I'm a better father then her own dad but I'm so scared that my son will turn out like me or saddam here I said

HEY FUCK YOU said saddam

SADDAM yelled god

Sorry god said saddam

Anyway kenny look at it this way to be better than your father you must do the opposite of how your father raised you then you can prove to his smug ass that you are a wonderful father and he should of raised you better but now you are the stronger man and guess what your son grows up better than most kids so enjoy this knowledge and don't be lazy cause that boy of yours will go places said god

Thanks god hopefully chad doesn't end up like your son I said

What dying for everyone's sins only to be resurrected 3 days later said god

No having to host a T.V show trying to convert people to join a religion that won't send them here I said

Oh true ok by Kenny said god

I woke up in bed next to Bebe who just woke up

Welcome home Kenny in 1 week I can finally touch my man said Bebe

I kissed her right there passingly

You can do anything you want I said

Oh is my birthday here already asked Bebe

Nope you showed me how good a father I truly am even that I'm better then you father I said

Shhh my father might hear you said Bebe

Sorry has a good man though I said

A faint sound of chad crying is in the background

I got him said Bebe

No honey I got him hold on chad daddies coming

**END OF CHAPTER**

**End summery**

**Well kenny is a good dad and yeah I know 2 visits to hell and a visit to heaven ok let me explain I did the first hell trip as a joke because its Timmy and I wanted a cameo from him at least once and that was him just blowing off steam now the 2****nd**** time was cause chief was the best damn character on south park and they never should of killed him off made him a robot and then just forget he ever existed so I basically wanted more chief and 3****rd**** the reason for heaven uh hello god Jesus resurrection Easter is next Sunday DUH oh I hope you're not sick with hell cause guess who's going there in the next chapter we are going to get more CHIEF wooed also we will see a character who I think died off screen on the show but I might be wrong so yeah REVIEW PLEASE and I know the summery is fucking long**


End file.
